Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/20/21: Animal Magic

Magical experimentation created this hybrid between hedgehog and lion.

Need some spells about animals for your campaign? Look no further.

 

Animal Magic

Aelbun’s Annoying Sparrow: Enchants a nearby sparrow to harass an opponent by diving at it and flying in its face. Humanoid creatures will attack at -1 capacity.

Blandoth’s Wrack Sea Serpent: Causes great pain in sea serpents of all kinds. Most often used for torture.

Born of the Wolf: This spell convinces the victim they are a werewolf.

Charm of the Minotaur: Bestows on the caster all the charisma of a fully grown minotaur, which is to say, none, except to another minotaur.

Frogspider: Turns frogs or toads into spiders, and vice versa. If the original form was poisonous, so is the changed form.

Glove of the Dragon: Rare and powerful, the dragon glove corresponds to any dragon type. It enables the user to create a mini version of the dragon’s breath weapon merely by pointing a finger. Most versions of this glove depict scales and claws.

Grinlo’s Chanting Cats: When activated, this spell causes all cats (including magical ones) in the area to chant a short phrase over and over, like “Go back! There is danger” or “The witch is out at the moment” in high-pitching, mewing voices.

Impish Bull: Enchants a nearby bull into acting in a mischievous manner.

Keep Hound: Successfully enables the caster to adopt a stray dog.

Minotaur Musk: Used as a vital ingredient in enchanted perfumes.

Phoenix Tinderbox: When someone tries to light a fire with this cursed tinderbox, it completely burns both the box and the user up.

Primrose’s Psittacine Fraternity: Spell that makes the caster understand parrot language and makes the caster more attractive to them. Often used to train parrots.

Vyrez’s Fractious Hare: Confuses and enrages any lapine animal to the point of attack.

Whip of the Squid: This magical whip resembles a cat o’ nine tails. Six whips are normal length, two are much longer and tipped with small hooks. The total number of attacks is eight. The longer strands can hook into an opponent and draw them closer. This whip gives +3 on attacks when used on the sea (i.e. on a boat) or by the sea (on a beach.)

Wyvern Wool: A very rare, highly magical, fibrous substance sometimes found growing on the undersides of sexually mature wyverns that are ready to mate. Wyvern wool can be of any color and is harsh to the touch. It is an essential ingredient in magical rope and certain types of magical clothing.

Zhism’s Clasping Scorpion: This small, brass pin in the shape of a scorpion will hold any two items together indefinitely.

 

Decision

 

Heart of gold?

Or heart of glass?

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/13/21: Ancient Empires

 

Over the summer as I was immersed in Narnia I read a lot about the Old Testament, and in turn about the ancient civilizations of the Near and Middle East. Most people know of Ur, Assyria, and the Phoenicians, but there were many others more obscure — Adiabene, the Girgashites, Hayasa-Azzi. Some were kingdoms, others city-states. Some might have been only a single tribe of like ethnicity.

Looking for a 4,000 year old civilization to pull out of your hat? Here’s a few.

 

Ancient Middle Eastern Civilizations

Zith-Ronem

Bithcarmid Empire

Athan Luda

Aslumei

Duam Lom

Arsnannid Empire

Chulah-Boenai

The Kingdom of Nibaron

Tarhia

Betmna

The Ebbagites

Tarram-Raaith

Zian

Midath

Huzonis

Aadan

Parthachian Empire

Ebumel

Kingdom of Koshenal

Umram

City of Sabna

City-state of Ebbaveh

Upper Merthaean Kingdom

Mamarna

Charonian Empire

Babyanis

Thebuan

The Uthean Lands

Emael

Abbolita

Kushdanni

Thaanis

 

* simper *

Seena Owens as a Babylonian Empress in the silent film classic Intolerance, 1929.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/6/21: Teen Movies of the 1980s

The 1980s were, perhaps, the Golden Age of the teen movie. Exemplified by John Hughes, these slightly raunchy, traditionally romantic movies had wholesome names like Sweet Sixteen and Pretty in Pink that belied the nasty origins of their conception. Which came from the pages of The National Lampoon, of which Hughes was a writer. Yes, that National Lampoon, the bastion of hip, white maledom demonstrating its privilege like a dick wagging out of a fly. What Hughes did was strip it of its satire and injected sentimentality.

I hated these movies. Even their titles sound porny. Which sounds strange from a porn writer, I know. But I dislike the disingenuousness of them.

Though beloved by teens in their time, the movies were aspirational, not actual. In fact, the plots were likely wish fulfillment on the part of the male writers and directors. The suave teens in them got to have the fun, sex-filled adventures the creators never had in the prudish 1950s or politically unstable 1960s with its threat of The Draft. If they were about teen girls, they were pining after an older or wealthier boy, getting their wish at the story’s conclusion … sexist and dull, no matter how alluringly packaged they were.

Anyway, if you need to reference a 1980s teen movie in your work, here’s a list of imaginary ones.

 

Forgotten Teen Movies of the 1980s

Valley Babes

Fresh Pink

One Wild Guy

War Drive

My Private Boy

The Bad Date

Licensed to Dance

Roller Genius

Private Games

Some Kind of Risky

Revenge of the Crush

Rebel In Pink

Real Boy in a Red War

Love Club Admirer

A Little About What Drives Nerds Nuts

Fast Love at Sixteen

 

 

 

Now That’s a Reindeer!

Extinct prehistoric deer Sinomegaloceros, which boastged a triceratops-like frill over its head.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/30/20: The Best of Twittersnips (SFF Novels)

A selection of randomly generated SFF novel titles that appeared in my Twitter feed 2017 – 2020. Any one of them would make a fine book.

 

SF, Fantasy, and Steampunk Novels

Rebellion’s Acolyte

Shadows of Stinging Grass

Dowsing the Dragon

Harry Potter and the Brawler of Blackworth

Harry Potter and the Assassin’s Blade

A Ring of Dust and Shadow

The Last Werehawk

How Bright the Protector

Court of Dogs

Reign of Daggers

The Skinwalker’s Kiss

The Bear, the Barbarian, and the Belfry

The Electric Covenent

The Girl in the Phantom Slippers

Thermoprison

 

Headless Juggler


Not sure what this is or what it means. But it’s cool nonetheless.