Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/6/21: Teen Movies of the 1980s

The 1980s were, perhaps, the Golden Age of the teen movie. Exemplified by John Hughes, these slightly raunchy, traditionally romantic movies had wholesome names like Sweet Sixteen and Pretty in Pink that belied the nasty origins of their conception. Which came from the pages of The National Lampoon, of which Hughes was a writer. Yes, that National Lampoon, the bastion of hip, white maledom demonstrating its privilege like a dick wagging out of a fly. What Hughes did was strip it of its satire and injected sentimentality.

I hated these movies. Even their titles sound porny. Which sounds strange from a porn writer, I know. But I dislike the disingenuousness of them.

Though beloved by teens in their time, the movies were aspirational, not actual. In fact, the plots were likely wish fulfillment on the part of the male writers and directors. The suave teens in them got to have the fun, sex-filled adventures the creators never had in the prudish 1950s or politically unstable 1960s with its threat of The Draft. If they were about teen girls, they were pining after an older or wealthier boy, getting their wish at the story’s conclusion sexist and dull, no matter how alluringly packaged they were.

Anyway, if you need to reference a 1980s teen movie in your work, here’s a list of imaginary ones.


Forgotten Teen Movies of the 1980s

Valley Babes

Fresh Pink

One Wild Guy

War Drive

My Private Boy

The Bad Date

Licensed to Dance

Roller Genius

Private Games

Some Kind of Risky

Revenge of the Crush

Rebel In Pink

Real Boy in a Red War

Love Club Admirer

A Little About What Drives Nerds Nuts

Fast Love at Sixteen




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.