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Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/22/20: Military Slang, Part II

Among the more well-known of military slang words are snafu and FUBAR. Both originated in WWII. Snafu has since passed into regular language use as a noun meaning a mess, an unexpected monkey wrench thrown into one’s plans. Originally SNAFU, the letters stood for Status Nominal: All Fucked Up,  a sarcastic term referring to the normal chaotic state of military life in the field.

FUBAR, in contrast, still keeps its acronym status, which means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. Both terms have polite definitions in which “fouled” is substituted for the “fucked.”

Here’s some more randomly created military slang.

 

Military Slang, Part II

Jebus: Sailor
Jigabo: A sailor’s companion
Jive Batman: Long-suffering husband of a sailor
Jock: Enlisted man
Johnson: A General or USMC Field Marshall
Jumper suit: By definition, anything that can be worn in a parachute. You’ll want the perfect fit, but don’t wear a suit on this one!
Jumped-up Bootleg: Insulting term for newbies (nearly all of us)
Junk: Items that are not normal sized, such as tents or pallets 

Killa: SEAL
Kangaroo contretemps: A full court martial where all of the accused wear no clothes or wrap their genitalia in bandages
Kettling: The practice of purposefully forming a defensive chain while a riot is taking place.  This allows the formation of human shields and helps the rioters flee, leaving their vehicles unoccupied for officers to control.
Knowitall: A type of pilot who’s an uncultured Kool-Aid drinker

Landrezzer: Fully-automatic machine gun that fires a plastic disc
Lark: A military police dog
Linesman: An enlisted man who climbs on top of a tank and checks whether any shell casings have pierced the armor plating
Lint Stuffer: A sailor’s boot
Long Jacob’s Ladder: A method of killing that involves stripping the victim naked and dropping him from a height with a backpack and backpack straps holding the victim’s arms behind his back

Mama: Marine
Max: Marine
Ms. Militia: Navy lieutenant

Navy Ace: President of the United States of America
Naze: A rectangle of land 20 feet long and 5 feet wide
Nefarico: Derogatory name for military personnel from Quebec

Oath Keeper: Navy staff officer

Pappy: Corpsman
Pearl Diver: Submarine pilot
Pet: Sailor
Puff: Enlisted man

Q-Boat: Container ship
Quatter: Artillery captain

 

Medusa’s Playhouse

“Pay me a visit,” Medusa said. “We’ll get stoned together.”

Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/15/20: Military Slang, Part I

Military slang is obscure and puzzling even at the best of times. It’s easy for civilians to pick up terms readily bandied about by journalists like MREs (military rations) and those from TV shows and movies, like dogtag and grunt.  But there’s a whole slew of others, some dependent on location, like AWACS (Airborne Early Warning and Control System, familiar if you live around Boeing Field in Seattle) and others by war, for example, the Hanoi Hilton.

For this type of rich, varied list I use talktotransformer, feeding it examples from real life military slang.

 

Military Slang, Part I

Anytyzer: Enemy armored vehicle
Arctic Cat: Transforming tool, used to sculpt scaly plates from sea ice
Awlfish: Amphibious truck
 
BadShibe: U.S. Army Quartermaster
Barbwire Smiles: U.S. Army Rangers
BB Bumblebee: Surgical projectiles
Bubble Bob: A Naval officer
Bushwacker: Commander of Task Force Able, or 3rd Air Force veteran
Bust-O-Matic: The blast deflector array used on many ex-USMC (Ex-Navy) F/A-18 Hornet fighters
 
Cohicoon: Heavy round of artillery
Colonel Reptilicus: Ew!
Compy: The x-ray dummy used to transport medicine to locations
 
Deepwater Sam: A Naval officer

Evergreen: Struck off a ship after being with too many other ships

Flaming Heart: Member who sacrifices for the good of the unit
Fucus: Genital warts
Fun Grab: Use of a pebble where it hits a person in the groin
Funny: To have an adverse reaction to something or someone

GAS: Gunfighters abbreviation for gas assist

Hamburger: An informal term for beer
HASL: Large Assam Rifles
Hedgehog: Parachute type windbreak
Hafiah: A TOW ATGM launcher
Hayride: Elevated or broken ground
Hazel: .50 caliber machine gun
Hell Ball: A derogatory term for an American or an American military man
Hubble: The act of rolling on your rear to be as near the ground as possible

Independent: An officer who has failed at the rank of corporal

 

Gunnery in a Nunnery

You talkin’ to me?

Buried Alive [Reading Challenge 2020]

Buried Alive

by Myra Friedman
William Morrow & Company, 1973

[Challenge # 12 : A book where music features prominently, or about musicians.]

As a singer Janis Joplin is, unfortunately, something of a museum piece now. Her icon status has faded with the decades, unlike her contemporaries Aretha Franklin and Dolly Parton, both of whom shared, to an extent, Joplin’s cartoonishness but not her vices. Both went on to have long and respected careers. Joplin, well, she imploded at the apex of her meteoric rise to fame.

It’s hard to understand how unique that trajectory was these days, when female pop stars with outlandish alter egos unfold their lives in real time in front of millions. But in the late 1960s Joplin was something new and special — a rock n’ roll wild hippie chick — and being hyped everywhere, especially in Rolling Stone magazine. She hyped herself as well, bending the truth to create her own legend. Other rock musicians have done this of course, like Jim Morrison (who famously said, on air in a TV interview, “My parents are dead” rather than outing his father as a Navy admiral then deployed in Vietnam) and more passively by Mick Jagger and Jimmy Hendrix, who were aware of but did not contest the image built for them by the press and their own publicists and managers. Unfairly, because of this self-hype as her alter ego “Pearl” Joplin is more often seen a symbol of the 1960s, rather than an artist in her own right.

Buried Alive was in fact written by a music publicist, Joplin’s own: Myra Friedman. Friedman worked for Joplin’s manager, the legendary Albert Grossman, who also managed Bob Dylan. Friedman had a background in music writing and so much of the bio read like liner notes for an album rather than a birth-to-death account of a musician’s life. This made it both perplexing and enjoyable to read. I kept looking for the  journalistic markers that are standard for today’s biographers even as I enjoyed its style and freshness (it was published less than five years after Joplin’s death from a heroin overdose.) Since it was a new beast, one of the first bios of a 1960s rock star, it grasps at air a bit and carries too much of the writer’s own slant, but it was entertaining and illuminated the era in a way that later, more scholarly  works could never do.

For example, in writing about hippie culture Friedman captures with honestly their ridiculousness and stunted speech, something which later writers, being actually of that generation, tend to overlook or glamorize (such as the Jim Morrison biographies No One Here Gets Out Alive and Jim Morrison: Life, Death, Legend – the latter of which had the writer trying too hard to convince us of Morrison’s talent as a poet, while he actually came off as having Tourette’s Syndrome.)

But however fresh it was, the book lacked the insights of today, particularly about Joplin’s drinking and alcohol addiction. And boy did she drink. One period toward the end of her life she started drinking pina coladas in the morning, screwdrivers for lunch, vodka and orange juice in various bars throughout the day, then a nap to recover from the binge so she could drink some more before going on stage, and then there was yet more drinking after the show. Joplin died at age 27 with her liver already damaged in spite of her legendary constitution. If she had not taken that fatal overdose, in a few more years she might have been forced to get help as her physical body deteriorated.

The author does make the point that no one thought much about addiction in the wild days of Haight Asbury. The “do your own thing” laissez-faire attitude of the counterculture was one of its crueler, more feral sides which is not much discussed today, and a major contributor to Joplin’s death. Interventions were unknown and seen as square. Real hippies shouldered on with their chemical enlightenments and expected others to do so, too.

Buried Alive was also one of the rare bios that had an actual style to the writing, one that was not cynical or kid glove. Here’s how the author punctures the Woodstock myth and cuts to its heart:


Woodstock, everyone knew, was less a festival that a religious convocation. Its ceremonies were the assertions of lifestyle, and the lifestyle included a celebration of the mystical relationship between drugs and rock, with grass as the Holy Wafer. It was as if the dope that everyone was free to use in the absence of the law had been commandeered to take that very law’s place. No fences were there, no guards, no shower stalls. What ruled was the rock world’s Realpolitik: you are only as good as the number of joints you smoke, only as blessed as you are high. It was as if Woodstock was the ultimate declaration of dope, not as an incidental euphoriant, but as some kind of necessary virtue.

The 1979 Bette Midler movie vehicle The Rose, which grew out of a failed attempt at a Joplin biopic, cribbed a lot from Friedman’s bio and its novelization copied its style. I’m ashamed to admit I read that supremely trashy book multiple times, and for a while it influenced my teenage writing. Never did I think that one day I’d get to read the original.

Overall Buried Alive is an entertaining period piece for anyone interested in a contemporary account of the 1960s as they were lived, but it’s not the definitive biography, rather a resource for later biographers. As a plus: look in the book for one of the first mentions of a young Patti Smith, described by the author as a poet, in a scene in the Chelsea Hotel.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/8/20:The Best of Twittersnips (Potions)

the love potion, by evelyn de morgan

The Love Potion by Evelyn de Morgan

Potions are essential for RPG fantasy gaming. They’re like a Get Out of Jail Free card, useful for a player in dire circumstances to cheat fate by teleporting themselves away from a foe or healing fatal damage. But they can also do other things.

From my twitter feed, some favorites I created. “Potion” refers to anything liquid or semi-liquid that can be carried on one’s person.

 

Magic Potions

Captain Astrit’s Dark Rum: Often found in pirate dens, this drink causes an alignment change to pure evil as long as the imbiber remains intoxicated.

Dawncream: When rubbed on the user’s face, it makes them feel as if they have just woken from a good night’s sleep.

Distillation of the Dragon: This very rare potion can substitute for any dragon body part (scales, fangs, etc.) that is an ingredient in magic. It has no effects when drunk.

Infusion of Wholesome Sweating: Potion that lets the drinker experience the benefits of sitting in a steambath for an hour.

Potion of Endless Dallying: When ingested, this cursed potion makes the drinker needlessly delay whatever action they next take.

Potion of Marvelous Fangs: The drinker’s canine teeth become two four-inch fangs for the duration of the spell. Can also be used to reduce the length of longer fangs.

Potion of Slow Teleportation: Teleports the caster from one place to another, but with a time delay. Cheaper to make than regular teleportation potions and useful for non-urgent situations.

Thanamierto’s Water of Dwarf Stamina: Gives the drinker the constitution of a dwarf for 12 hours.

Thorska’s Elixer of Healthy Elimination: Useful when one is constipated.

Tincture of Lightning: Magical potion containing the essence of a lightning flash. When uncorked, the flash re-occurs in the immediate area.

 

Don’t Mess with Cindy Brady

She’s got the power of the atom, Communist China, and tornadoes on her side.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/1/20: Unlikely Animals (April Fools!)

Top to bottom: Platybelodon, a prehistoric elephant; Opabinia, an extinct arthropod relation; and the modern Saiga antelope.

Talktotransformer is proving to be a potent tool for me. I usually have to run things through a few times, and fine-tune and collate the results, but am mostly assured of a fecund list. By which I mean a list that makes the mind wander, cooking up possibilities (and story ideas) for people, places, and things.

Running a list of animals both real-world and me-generated created the creatures listed below. Some sound reasonable (Mississippi Batfish) others slightly off (Honeyeater Puffbird) and others, “no way in hell could this exist” (Dangerous Walking Tarantula). But, considering the animal kingdom of today and its forebears, there was more than a little WTFuckery going on in real life anyway. Consider the Platybelodon elephant above with its abnormally long jaws, the five-eyed Opabinia, and Asia’s Saiga antelope, an otherwise-normal looking antelope with an inflated nasal cavity. Makes you think, doesn’t it.

 

Unlikely Animals

Honeyeater Puffbird

Soggy Cur

Black Gleaming Li-Ang

Red Chested Perkin Pionus

Black-Inbred Tiger

Cervid Ostriche

Blue-cheeked Racoon

Dangerous Walking Tarantula

Gloomtooth Beetle

Red Tuttabot

Grimclaw

Primitive Poachie

Haervo

Berrybush Cheeky Lobel

Super Fine Tuned Fondue (Tuna)

Little Brown Bat-Orca

Longear Whale

Blackest Graybear

Sunkissed Kestrel

Rat Tail Sharpy

Subpanda

Cast Iron Nautilus

White-legged Krait

Wyrmscale Hydra

Ealdarmere

Habib’s Gizzard Shrimp

Mississippi Batfish

Gray Aurora Behemoth

Muscoth

Makeshift Roundworm

 

Hand of Glory

The Hand of Glory, made from the preserved hand of a man hanged for murder,
was a potent magical item. Coated in the deceased’s body fat,
with a wick made of his hair, it was said to unlock all doors.