Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/4/23: Best of Twittersnips 2022 (Magic Items)

Marzamara’s Deer Vial

My favorite Twittersnip magic items of 2022.

 

2022 Magic Items


Anzha’s Bubble: This glass bubble measures 2” and constantly shifts colors. When held in the palm, it induces memories of the most tranquil place the holder ever visited, inducing in them calm and peace.

Bag of the Banshee: This cursed sack screams loudly whenever it is opened, scaring everyone out of their wits.

Baton of Relieving Boredom: It’s easy for a guard or watchmen to become bored and miss something vital. This small stick ensures they stay alert with a lively interest in everything they see and hear.

Bone of the Champion: The Champion Chef, that is! When thrown into a cookpot it will make the meal twice as tasty and nutritious and also double the amount of people it can feed. Note that it is a real human bone.

Book of Tenebruous Sealife: Contains spells for summoning sea creatures living in the abyssal depths.

Book of the Ebon Peacock: A darkly sinister and lavishly illustrated tome of grooming and fashion for lawful evil magic-users. Any of those that read it find their Charisma enhanced permanently by a point.

Book of the Gray Fox

Book of The Gray Fox: Contains spells for enhancing the charisma and comeliness of older magic-users.

Boots of Endless Descent: The wearer is able to walk tirelessly as long as they are moving down, not up.

Brew of Obliteration: This magic alcoholic drink causes immense sorrow, then makes the drinker pass out. When they come to, any recent traumatic events are forgotten. A curse but then a blessing.

Brew of the Centaur: This potion temporarily bestows a centaur’s wisdom, strength, and stamina on the drinker. The secret ingredient is centaur sweat which doesn’t make it tasty.

Continue reading

You Look Like a Thing and I Love You [Reading Challenge 2022]


You Look Like a Thing and I Love You

by Janelle Shane
Voracious, November 2019

[ Challenge # 3 : Just the facts, Ma’am: Nonfiction on any subject ]

I’ve followed Janelle Shane’s weblog on AI and computer learning for a while, and it’s never failed to make me laugh.

Out of that endeavor came this book, which is not a collection of her weblog writing but a basic guide on AI intelligence, focusing on what it can do and can’t do.  It’s written for the layperson, very breezy and casual. I enjoyed it, but had to read it in small doses, as it’s somewhat abstract, and I don’t do well with abstract material and concepts (like algebra and C+ programming.) I’m glad I persevered, though. The many small cartoons helped; they broke up the text and affording amusing asides. The field is moving very quickly, so it’s likely some of the book is outdated already; it was published near the end of 2019 and likely written over that year. The three years since have been full of new milestones, not least among them AI art engines that have become commercialized. I credit the author for getting me interested in these engines and sparking a new pleasure of mine.

So, a funny and challenging computer science read and I’ll continue to read more.

The Shame Machine
[Reading Challenge 2022]


The Shame Machine:
Who Profits in the New Age of Humiliation

by Cathy O’Neil
Crown, March 2022

[ Challenge # 45 : Face your fears: A book that intimidates you, for any reason ]

This one’s a late-year substitute.  Shoehorned The Shame Machine by Cathy O’Neil into the “Intimidating” category, because the title certainly is. Who wants to read about being ashamed?

However, it was a good overview of how the concept of shame keeps members of society in line and on the same path, except when it doesn’t. That is, when it’s harnessed by capitalism. Case in point, to get people to buy dubious health products to be younger, fitter, or more beautiful. This concept was explored in the first part of the book, which dealt with “punching down” — a term I just encountered on reading the book — which is how those in power shame those with less power to do what the powerful thinks they should be doing, with a moral component: Shame on you for being poor and not being able to provide for your children, now you must go through all these humiliating steps for aid to ensure that you never, ever, are in this shameful state again. Not really the best way for pulling people out of homelessness, drug addiction, or mental illness.

The author is a mathematician who has previously written a book about algorithms, and that’s touched on in the text in the second section, in how disparaging tweets and posts go viral. That aspect is slightly out of date because the internet world moves so rapidly, but it’s nice to see it summarized and stated all in one place. Reading the book has certainly made me reflect on my own behavior; there’s nothing to be gained by laughing at and mocking most people.

The third section dealt with “punching up” — those without power shaming those in power, such as the tactics of Gandhi in expelling the British from India. This also was a good basic overview. I have to say, though, a method without much teeth these days, when politicians brazenly lie and the consequences are nonexistant. I mean, lying in a way that is readily apparent to the average person with some search engine knowledge. What can we do about that?

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/28/22: Best of Twittersnips 2022 (Spells)

Paper Avalanche spell in action

My favorite Twittersnip spells of the year!

 

2022 Spells


Alter Skeletal Alignment: Gives the effect of a visit to the chiropractor on any creature that has bones.

Arrow of the Mage: Not a physical arrow, but the dynamics of ‘shooting’ it are the same. Enables one mage to send a spell they know to another. Must have a clear line of sight with no impediments.

Befoul Bedpillow: How lovely is it to climb into bed and rest your head on a fresh, clean pillow? This spell deposits a fresh cat hairball in the center of the linen just as your enemy’s head will hit it.

Bittersweet Prospects: A complicated but powerful cleric spell that is similar to a curse. Ensures that the next good thing that is experienced by the victim is then matched by a bad experience of equal weight.

Blue Contemplation spell

Blue Contemplation: Any creature using magic will recover spells more quickly under this spell, which requires them to sit and meditate, alone, under an open sky.

Bookish Beast: Causes intelligent animal monsters to be suddenly interested in reading, no matter what else they have been doing.

Brief Shadow: One of the easiest first spells all mages learn. Creates a brief dark shape that slips by at the target’s edge of vision. Can be used as a distraction.

Bruetta’s Instant Lift: Caffeinates any beverage, giving it the effect of a double espresso.

Continue reading

Masks of the Snow Queen, Part 2

One my first attempts at depicting The Snow Queen using AI engines. Her hair’s the wrong color, and I had to run the pic through a facial normalizing engine to fix her lips and eyes, but overall it’s a good representation.

Arienrhod’s Winter Hawk mask

In the opening chapter, prologue really, of The Snow Queen the reader is treated to a humdinger of a setup for the rest of the book. During the planet Tiamat’s masked festival/ball, a couple sneak away to have sex in one of the side rooms, where they fall asleep from drugged wine. Arienrhod, the Winter Queen, appears with an offworld doctor to implant one of her cloned embryos into the woman’s womb. This is the genesis of Moon Dawntreader Summer, the heroine of the book. The scene is sumptuously described, with the Queen wearing the elaborate mask of an Arctic bird of prey while the doctor wears an “absurd fantasy creature, part fish, part pure imagination.” The masks and festival set the stage for the cyclical nature of the this world’s rituals and their themes of change and renewal.

In human history, the concept of a masked ritual is an old and potent one dating back to the Stone Age. In donning the mask, the human identity is subsumed by another, usually a deity or some other elemental power. Even today indigenous societies perform these rites, which, in the New World, have been subsumed by, but also influenced, the rites of their colonizers. This is the marvelous genesis of the festival season of Carnival in Brazil, the Caribbean, and other Latin American nations. These elaborately costumed parades and balls are planned all year round and grew out of the invading Spaniards’ Catholicism, where they served as a last chance for freedom and partying before Ash Wednesday’s penitence and the austerities of Lent. It wouldn’t hurt to add that the Spaniard’s African and indigenous slaves added their own ideas of religious ritual. Thus, a true mestizo event was born.

Another Winter Hawk mask

Back in Europe, the same Catholic Carnival festivities also included the indignities of food fights, street parties, mock battles, cross-dressing, clowns and circus performances, and comedic presentations where everyday norms were mocked and turned upside-down and topsy-turvy. In this it has elements of the Roman feast of Saturnalia where slaves become masters, women become men, and what is grotesque or distasteful paraded openly. Basically, a time to let off societal steam.

(In the U.S. only New Orleans, settled by French Catholics, has held on to the Carnival tradition, as the country was founded by Protestant faiths.)

Vinge’s Mask Night festivities are based on the Brazilian and Venetian Carnival models, with her festival occurring at 25 (Earth year) intervals, making it a once in a generation event. The masks are prepared and stockpiled for all this time, as the cozy scenes with Fate Ravenglass, a blind sybil/maskmaker, demonstrate. At the culmination of Mask Night the masks are ripped off, then burned or otherwise destroyed, and the participants are considered reborn.

Continue reading

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/21/20: Christmas Cocktails

Bright and glittery Christmas cocktails (AI art)

The Yuletide season brings with it some traditional alcoholic drinks. Grog, mulled wine, hot toddys, wassail, and eggnog are but a few. There’s also lesser known ones, like rumpopo, which is a Mexican liquor equivalent to eggnog.

Of course there’s already drinks called The Naughty List and The Nice list, given the barkeeping world’s penchant for childish names with double entendres.

If you need one of your own, here’s a randomgenned list.

 

Christmas Cocktails

Russian Snowplow

Christmas Whippet

Burning Chimney

Alvin the Reindeer

Loco Ho-Ho

Blitzen’s Sneaky Stinger

Ice Peeler

Nutcracker Bombadier

Elf in a Fruitcake

Muddy Snowfort

 Tiny Tim’s Tickler

Rumble in the Snow

Krampus Nailer

Frosty Crawler

Snowman Melter

Scrooge Shooter

Santa’s Sucker

Frosty Tonsils

The Even Naughtier List

Snow Queen’s Stockings

 

Don’t Eat the Medusa Christmas Cookies…

Or this might happen to you!

…or, more terrifyingly, you may yourself turn into a Christmas cookie…

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/14/22: Christmas Traditions Around the World

 

Christmas can be a pretty bizarre holiday, being as it’s conglomeration of pagan, Catholic, and secular traditions. In the Catalan region of Spain, for example, there’s the traditional of the Caga Tio, or shitting log, that is stuffed with presents and hit like a pinata on Christmas Eve until it gives them up. Related to this is the Nativity figurine known as the Caganer, or Pooper, who is depicted with their pants down about to do #2. Supposedly he conveys the idea that God’s call can come to anyone, anywhere, even while they’re taking a crap.

From Oaxaca, Mexico comes the Festival of the Radishes, which takes place on December 23rd. All year radishes are grown to enormous size and then carved into artistic creations which are displayed in the town square. After which, I hope, they simmer in bowls of hot pozole.

In the U.S. look no further than the department store Santa for a bizarre tradition. A typical one is seen in the 1983 movie A Christmas Story. There’s also humor writer David Sedaris’s account of his time spent as a Macy’s department store elf in his monologue The Santaland Diaries. A newer tradition is the Elf on the Shelf which, though it seems a relic of an earlier time by the concept and design, actually dates from 2005.

AI creations can’t hold a candle to anything like this in real life. But from randomly generated pictures  I came up with these.

 

Some could-be-real Christmas traditions from around the world

Poland:  Santa wears a black cossack hat and plays a drum shaped like a giant dog’s paw.

Mexico:  Effigies of Papa Noel (Santa Claus) are built out of chili peppers and the Christmas trees are dyed red.

Argentina:  Christmas trees are set up outside local shops and then set on fire.

South Africa: Termite mounds are dressed up as Santa and native dancers dressed as snowmen perform.

Vladivostok, Russia: Santa leads a pantomime camel decorated with Christmas lights through the streets.

The Australian Outback: Santa rides in an old wooden truck and a traditional Aboriginal feast is set up outside.

Basque Region, Spain:  A 10-foot high “Christmas Tower” resembling a giant ornament or UFO is constructed. It requires ten people inside to parade it through the streets accompanied by townspeople. A favorite attraction of the tourists.

Quebec, Canada:  A single “Mother Christmas” sings carols in front of the mayor’s mansion.

Walla Walla, Washington: Santa rides a miniature dirtbike into town with his helper. He fires off his hunting rifle at each house.

Taos, New Mexico: Dogs are dressed up as reindeer and Santa wears a Native American inspired costume.