Led Zeppelin: The Biography [Review]

Led Zeppelin: The Biography

by Bob Spitz
Penguin Press, 2021

When the first Led Zeppelin biography, Hammer of the Gods, by Stephen Davis, was published in 1985, it caused a sensation. Riding on the coattails of the equally sensationalistic No One Here Gets Out Alive, the Jim Morrison autobiography published in 1980 that caused a Doors revival, Hammer of the Gods bared to the world the debaucheries behind Led Zeppelin’s cooler-than-shit façade. Such as the groupie/mud shark tale which happened right here in Seattle, at the Edgewater Inn. I had read Hammer of the Gods even before I moved to Seattle, and can say for sure the book confirmed the many sordid stories I’d read hints of from the rock and roll magazines of my high school days.

Except, not really. Much in that book was claimed as exaggeration or fabrication. The authors relied on the recollections of Richard Cole, Led Zep’s ex-roadie, who had a motive to sell them out: money. The Zep members denounced it, in the same way the Beatles denounced the memoir of their first manager Allan Williams, who wrote about their wild times in the Reeperbahn District music clubs of Hamburg. (That book,  too, set off a wave of retro Beatlemania.)

Led Zeppelin: The Biography doesn’t entirely avoid the sensationalism, which is too bad. But it’s also a much more thorough history, and for the most part avoids the snark of Hammer which was considered essential in rock journalism at the time. (The otherwise excellent Beatles bio Shout! The Beatles in Their Generation also had this problem.) For that alone I rate the book highly.

Indeed, if you read only one Led Zep biography, read this one. Everything is there, who did what and when and where, enabling the reader to connect the dots to a wider range of players in the music industry and how they all interacted. Dusty Springfield, for example, rated John Paul Jones so highly a session player on her albums that a chance remark by her let the band to secure a highly favorable record deal.

Even better, the business machine behind the band is laid bare, making it a case study in music management 101. Manager Peter Grant receives a strong case for being the unlauded fifth member of the group. Grant didn’t discover them like Epstein did the Beatles. He accrued them because he managed the Yardbirds who Jimmy had first played with, and, impressed with his talent, stole the proto-Zeppelin out from under Micky Most’s nose. How hard of a sell Jimmy did on Grant the book doesn’t say, but I’d bet his talent spoke for itself. It was only through Grant’s unwavering faith and strong-armed tactics the group became the powerhouse it was, along with the casual connections, lucky encounters, and twists of fate. Everything just clicked into place.

The book also gets right what Hammer did not. Page’s family did not own a car dealership in the Epsom section of London, he came from humbler beginnings. The band did not call them themselves the Nobs for a gig in Scandinavia because it was slang for balls, but because it was the name of an associate of theirs. The mud shark incident did not involve the Zep band members; it was conceived by Richard Cole and Carmine Appice, the drummer for Vanilla Fudge. Though that they watched and did nothing to stop it was questionable; whether there was anything to be stopped the book leaves up in the air, leaving the reader to decide if it was sexual assault on an out-of-it victim or willing participants in raunchy play.

Which to me was the biggest fault of the book, rehashing those old incidents at face value. Though the author adds moralizing from a present day viewpoint, no new spin is put on them. For example, in  one part it’s hinted that underage groupie Lori Maddox (I’m using the earlier spelling of her name) was pimped by her mother to bag a rock star, but this is not explored any further, which is a shame. In fact none of the female associates of the band are explored in any depth. This might be an omission of the author’s, or the women might have been unwilling to talk. But one day I hope to hell to see the band’s history told from the viewpoint of the wives, girlfriends, and female associates of the band.

Also mildly annoying was the reinteration of the phrase “do as though wilt” — a saying of Aleister Crowley, an occult figure Jimmy had a fascination with — at certain times whenever the band does a morally questionable thing. But basic reading of Crowley and Thelema shows that it doesn’t mean do all the evil you possibly can without fear of reprisal. That’s the meaning Spitz put upon it. What it does mean is a sort of self-actualization, in the form of cause and effect. Which must have attractive to the young Jimmy Page who claims he read one of Crowley’s books around the age of 11.

The in-depth basic information makes the book very readable for a newbie, but for Zep aficionados there are many new revelations. Like how Swan Song records, the band’s vanity label, passed on rock groups Heart and Queen because everyone running the label was too drugged and apathetic to run it properly. Post-Zep history is barely touched on, but then that would require a whole other book.

Comparing the book to Mick Wall’s 2008 When Giants Walked the Earth, also a very thorough biography, I’d say Spitz’s book comes out better, though it’s missing the personal touches of the band member’s lives. Though not the “you are [insert band member’s name]” fanfic chapter preludes, which had me cringing in secondhand embarrassment for the writer. In spite of that I enjoyed the book, but the Spitz book does the history better.

The book includes about two dozen well-chosen photos, among them a lovely pic of a very young Jimmy and Jeff Beck tuning their guitars, courtesy of one Linda Eastman, later known as Linda McCartney.

After all that I am seriously zepp’d out.  But at some point I’ll continue on with a Jimmy Page biography I started.

Johning his Paul until it Joneses

Led Zeppelin bass player/keyboardist John Paul Jones, at home, early 1970s.

Percy’s Bustle in the Hedgerow

Robert Plant pretends to be the May Queen

Art generated in AI

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now
It’s just a spring clean for the May Queen

Jimmy Page’s Pants

Cartoon by Nicola Rivka. I’ll post some more of her stuff when I get around to Zeptoons.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/17/23: Let’s Talk About Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin land in Hawaii and get lei’d. Prolly 1970-ish.

As in, why did the band pick that name anyway?

Logic might tell you it comes from a long line of band names that change one or two letters of an ordinary word to become something wacky and eye-catching. As in The Beatles, The Monkees, The Byrds, Cyrcle, Def Leppard (a Led Zeppelin imitator if ever there was one), Mötley Crüe, Phish, etc.

But it’s not that at all.

According to most Zep biographies, the name was suggested by Keith Moon, the powerhouse drummer for The Who. In May 1966 Jimmy Page, then a member of the Yardbirds, was jamming together with frenemy Jeff Beck in a studio to come up with new material. Lo and behold who should turn up but Keith Moon, who was contemplating leaving the Who at the time over Roger Daltrey’s bad temper. John Paul Jones, then a session musician, joined in the fun. The result was Beck’s Bolero and an idea for a new supergroup in the manner of Cream. Jimmy tried to recruit Stevie Winwood and then Steve Marriot for lead singer,  but both declined, and the supergroup idea went nowhere. Moon, though, was amused enough by it to declare they all would “go down like a lead zeppelin” if they ever got together, putting his own twist on the phrase lead balloon. The image stuck in Jimmy’s mind.

Two years later, Jimmy made good on his word and recruited first Robert Plant, then John Paul Jones and John Bonham, to form what he envisioned as a new Yardbirds band, Jeff Beck and the other members having abandoned him. The new group actually did a tour of Scandinavia as The New Yardbirds, fulfilling a contract leftover from the old Yardbirds; Jimmy thought he owned the name from a document the previous members had signed. But he didn’t; the name could only be used to fulfill the tour obligations. A new one had to be chosen.

And it was, by Peter Grant, the band’s manager, who had also heard of Keith Moon’s quip. Jimmy agreed. After the “lead” was changed to “led” (a matter of proper pronunciation) an icon was born.

(This story is related in Bob Spitz’s book Led Zeppelin: A Biography, which I’ll be reviewing later. What jumps out to me about the episode is that Peter Grant could be considered the band’s fifth member, the one who made it all possible. Led Zep would have been nowhere without Peter Grant.)

Over the years, the name has generated many amusing puns. Here’s a few from real life.

 

Punny Dreadful Takes on Led Zeppelin

Bread Zeppelin: A bakery and casual dining franchise in Texas.

Dread Zeppelin: A tribute band doing reggae versions of Led Zeppelin songs.

Lez Zeppelin: An all-female tribute band doing interpretations  of Led Zeppelin songs.

Zeparella: Another all-female tribute band.

Led Zepplica: A tribute band.

Led Zepagain: Another tribute band.

Fred Zeppelin: A tribute band. It’s likely there’s other tribute bands somewhere called Ned Zeppelin and Ted Zeppelin.

John Paul Joel, a Zep tribute band

As is evident there are a LOT of tribute bands… and that’s not including Kashmir, Zoso, Zep-LA, or Black Dog.

The following names are not yet taken, however!

Dead Zeppelin: A great name for a tribute band that does both Grateful Dead and Led Zeppelin songs.

Hedge Zeppelin: Surely there’s a garden store named this somewhere?

Red Zeppelin: If Led Zep had made an animated movie like The Beatle’s Yellow Submarine, it might have been called this.

Thread Zeppelin: A good name for a vintage clothing shop that specializes in 1970s clothing.

Vej Zeppelin: A garden co-op that delivers fresh organic veggies to your door in rock star style.

Keg Zeppelin: An independent beer retailer.

Zep Yaoi AI Fanart

A foursome of Jimbert* portraits courtesy of Midjourney. After almost a year, I broke down and got a subscription for myself.

The prompt:

young jimmy page and young robert plant, sleeping, 1970, recording studio, muted colors, tan, blue, gray, cinematic lighting, pen and ink, intricate line drawings, by Yoshitaka Amano, Ruan Jia, Kentaro Miura, Artgerm, detailed, trending on artstation, hd, masterpiece

The idea was, I wanted a generated pic of Jimmy and Robert circa 1971, sleeping off their exhaustion in a recording studio after an all-night session. The first pics I got, from Magic Prompt, were promising, if distorted. But the same prompt in Midjourney gave me two generic prettyboys with just the hair color differing, no recording studio, no 70s clothing, no distinctive facial features. And I had to say “young jimmy page and young robert plant” because without the “and”,  using  just a comma, gave me one prettyboy who combined the features of both. Overall, not quite what I was after.

Going over to Starry AI using a similar prompt gave me these guys. OK, there’s some kind of a console there, but also a long blue pillow which is out of place and enough anatomical oddities to warrant head-scratching, like the muscles in Robert’s right arm and the exaggerated eyelids of both men. They’re both a little Tamara Lempick.

I’d say fan artists have nothing to worry about.

 

  • Jimmy/Robert slash pairing

Father of the Four Winds

Artwork by Morgan Rogers

Oh Father of the Four Winds fill my sails…

A young Robert Plant blows some gentle breezes in this evocative illustration by Morgan Rogers. Unfortunately her site is retired and not being updated, but the Zep artwork is still there.

A scanned page from the artist’s sketchbook. There’s a quality to her work that is very alert and alive, full of movement, even when the subjects are still. I hope she is still producing, or has gone professional.

Bandfics, Part 2

Led Zeppelin knitted dolls, outfitted in clothing from an early tour. From left to right: Jonesy, Jimmy (with a beard), Robert, and Bonzo.

Not every band inspires a busy and passionate fandom. Using Archive of Our Own as a bellwether, I noticed several things by looking at the stats.

One is the sheer amount of material. Excluding Elvis (450 stories) most of it dates from bands active from the early 1960s on. There’s no Gene Vincent, Jerry Lee Lewis, or Bobby Darin here, no Shangri-Las or other girl groups, no Rat Pack. A generational divide, perhaps. Or more likely, the sixties were an age when rock artists rose to fame on the young side and there was plenty of media attention devoted to them, meaning a wealth of TV appearances, photos, and magazine articles. Not to mention, they toured frequently.

There are also few Country artists and even fewer Rap and Hip-hop ones. For all their present day (as of 2023) fame, Cardi B and Megan Three Stallion have not a single story between them, while Nicki Minaj has a scant 38. This may be because they are female; bandfics slant towards heterosexual female desires, which means male artists. But there are few male rappers and hip hop artists. Perhaps they are present, and I don’t recognize the names; perhaps fans don’t feel the need to write fanfic about them. After all, rap artists pretty much write their own fanfic. There’s also a lack of Latin artists. I recognized only Mago de Oz, Pitbull, and Menudo. Though, granted, since the bandfic list has a few thousand entries, it’s possible I missed someone.

Led Zeppelin matryoshka dolls. Jimmy, of course, is the dominant one and the largest. Note the tiny Peter Grant one on the far right!

The archive still has, in surprising numbers, plenty of boy band fics, some of which date from the turn of the century. One Direction has an astounding 70,218 and Hanson, The Jonas Brothers, Backstreet Boys, and N’sync contribute another 5,000. But these numbers are experiencing stiff competition from the current wave of K-Pop and J-Pop bandfics. Another band, 5 Seconds of Summer, has an astonishing 10,739 despite the fact I’ve never heard of them. (They’re Australian.)

So, if I’m allowed to generalize – and I will because it’s my weblog — I will say that the majority of the bands with creative, passionate fandoms are male, young, and good-looking. Or were young and good-looking at some point; after all, fanfic exists of the Beatles (6,365 stories) the surviving members of which are in their 70s. Needless to say, the bands must also make good music. Whether it’s truly their own, or manufactured, is immaterial. They must also be photogenic and there’s extra points for dancing ability and/or musical virtuosity.

I’ll make another divide here. There’s a stylistic and thematic one between the boy bands — including K-Pop/J-Pop — and rock bands like Guns n’ Roses, David Bowie, or The Arctic Monkeys. Boy band fandoms slant younger and the group members function somewhat like Barbie dolls for the writers, acting out various scenarios of everyday life and serving, occasionally, as characters in different settings and times. The stories may be sexually charged or not, but there’s a projection from the authors on their “boys” that their very blandness and inoffensiveness encourages. Rockfic bands are older and more experienced, and the fics may be set at any point in their histories, histories of which the writer is well familiar. The oldest bands, those of the 1960s like The Beatles, The Who, and The Rolling Stones, have been so well-documented through video material, interviews, and published biographies that it’s no wonder they continue to inspire up-and-coming writers, and the fics are especially rich.

A humorous interlude.

This leads me to wonder what the magic ingredients are, exactly, for prolific body of robust fan works.

  • A rich and well-documented media history that is easily available to fans.
  • Young and cute at some point, or at least not homely.
  • Distinctive personalities for each member, ala The Beatles or KISS.
  • Musical genius in singing, songwriting, and/or playing an instrument.
  • Hit singles, airplay, top ten. (Not sure how this is measured these days, but you know what I mean.)

ALSO:

  • An entourage of colorful auxiliary characters. For example, the Beatles side characters would include Brian Epstein, Yoko Ono, the Maharishi, and Allen Klein.
  • A history full of dramatic or tragic events, such as a fatal accident causing the death of a band member.
  • A narrative arc to their history: Rags to Riches, Flew too Close to the Sun, Recluse to Comeback, etc.
  • A distinctive aesthetic. Guns n’ Roses had one, so did The Who.

(Of course, it’s also a mystery why some bands who on the surface have all of these languish, or, even worse, lose their fans. Indierock band Dandy Warhols had an active fanfic site in the late 1990s with a couple dozen stories, only to disappear. The Monkees, too, had an active fandom then despite being 30 years gone; now there’s nothing. Some of this may be because of websites folding or changes to the larger archives, such as fanfiction.net banning RPF and bandfics at some point. Or it may be due to fans that grow up and find other things to do with their time. But as fandoms cycle out, others cycle back. The 1960s bands have enthralled a whole new generation of fans.

Yet, I am still puzzled by the precariousness of fan attentions. One would think the dramatic, tragic, gender-bending Lou Reed, a cutie in his younger days and also decadent as hell, would have more stories than he does. (It’s a mere 58). Nine Inch Nails, fronted by hunky-yet-vulnerable Trent Reznor has 206, but unattractive creepazoid Marilyn Manson, 484. Party boys Van Halen have 24, yet Motley Crue, 1,172. I just don’t get it.)

My point in all this is that Led Zeppelin, as a band, makes all these marks, and then some, creating a very rich stew for fannish writings and art.