
Victorian-era skeletons in a medical engraving

Victorian-era skeletons in a medical engraving
I’ve looked at alternate U.S. states before on this site here and here, but frankly, where things really start to get whacky is on the West Coast. But you knew that, didn’t you?

Being the most populous state in the union California tends to get divided up a lot. It seems fresh proposals come down the line every few years. Here Old California births six new baby states, rather uncreatively named. Jefferson is the oldest of these, having its origins in 1941 when some counties in southwestern Oregon joined counties of Northern California to secede from the U.S. altogether as the nation-state of Jefferson, the movement a reaction from rural communities who felt ignored by political leaders in the more urban areas.

Another way of dividing up California. Jefferson makes another appearance, and the megalopolises of San Francisco and Los Angeles each become the capitols of the new states of Reyes and San Gabriel, respectively. San Diego becomes the capitol of Cabrillo while San Joaquin retains Sacramento and the wine country of Napa Valley.
Washington state has also been proposed for a split, the land west of the Cascades retaining the name while the east becomes the new state of Columbia. In recent years Washington has been the center of a proposed ecotopia called Cascadia, which would also include Oregon, Northern California, and parts of Idaho, Montana and British Columbia. Here’s an imagining of it, flanked by the new state flags of its components.


This is actually an alternate state flag for Washington, but it would make a fine one for Cascadia as well.
Alaska, meanwhile, is too sparsely populated to be divided, as yet, but some have proposed splitting it anyway.

Oregon has been quiet regarding splitting and seceding, apart from the Jefferson business in 1941, but if the Oregon Territory had been organized differently, we might be looking at several states where present-day Oregon is. Like Washington, the most likely divide would be east-west, with the Cascade Mountains as the boundary.
If you’re looking to name an imaginary state in some imaginary U.S., and want to give it a name that evokes Washington or Alaska without it being quite like those real-world states, look no further.
| Washington
Wemmington Wallachium Weatherton Westorus Washtequan Wappinton |
Oregon
Aprophon Oregium Iregon Obregon Olegous Osatha |
California
Cosheedia Calennia Calliford Salifordia Calenquain Calamnia |
Alaska
Ulasko Anasbra Illyaska Alarko Obuska Athalaska |

Surely its name was S’phink-Ter?
Elric of Melniboné, that is.

The many moods (and artistic depictions)of Elric. Clockwise, from top left: demented; wistful; murderous; lovely (not Elric, but would make a very good one); kingly and world-weary; and, finally, whimsical, as he plays a game of peekaboo with Stormbringer.
Elric was a creation of SFF writer Michael Moorcock and made his first appearance in 1961, in a novella titled “The Dreaming City” in the pages of Science Fantasy magazine. More stories followed later in the 1960s and eventually they were compiled, with added material and edits, into a a series of paperback books, a lengthy saga that intertwined with Moorcock’s other worlds and heroes, all serving as reincarnations of a Jungian “Eternal Champion” through time and space.
But Elric always proved the most popular, for his intriguing mix of vulnerability and superpowers, questioning of morality, and all-too-human weaknesses. Born a sickly albino, he must take drugs to live a normal life and takes up the practice of sorcery to make up for his physical defects. Heir to a dying, decadent kingdom, he nonetheless swears to defend it. When he acquires a magic sword, Stormbringer, he gains great strength and power (as Shazam the superhero does when he speaks his own name) yet winds up in deadly thrall to it, as the sword needs freshly killed souls as fuel. This sets up a series of adventures as Elric calls on evil gods and demons, travels the world, ousts usurpers from his kingdom, and deals with the deaths of those close to him caused by Stormbringer’s deadly thirst. He’s perhaps the most widely recognized fantasy hero out there outside of Tolkien’s Frodo and Gandalf and Robert E. Howard’s Conan. He’s served as inspiration for heavy metal lyrics as well as role-playing games and characters beyond count, among them Drizzt Do’Urden and Raistlin Majere of AD&D fame.
Need a name for a character like Elric, without it being Elric? Here’s a list.
| Othret of Malebora
Udrith of Medbindiné Ismec of Meljubon Olrac of Marltukmore Alluv of Murivain Arctus of Melithone Ochad of Melnupon Abmuc of Melpomëne Achmid of Marnimoine Umley of Molóbite Irthsic of Mrelprivone |
Elrum of Mylskonië
Ashrit of Melsabro Ilrac of Metalbrouse Erkish of Marmoian Elridh of Memnobonnu Olras of Melsgaté Emrit of Mynnydhone Ushbar of Minnishori Alshec of Mustheria Alvir of Murnalbino Elrits of Mingaloré |

Isn’t this the prototypical damsel-in-distress image?
Seriously, it strokes my sweet spot: the leering, Lon Chaney Jr.-as-Phantom of the Opera-like face of the villain and his floridly brandished pocket watch, and the wide-eyed look of the blonde, which is not so much terror as a mesmerized disgust. (The man tied up behind her seems to show more fear. ) And oh, what a terrible fate, sealed up naked together in a time capsule destined to be opened 2,000 centuries hence!
And yet, it makes no sense. They are going to be dropped, but there’s no indication of where, and wouldn’t such a drop break the glass of the tube? Why does the mad scientist wear a red slicker? And what is he doing with that trowel? They are in a tube, not a mausoleum.
Questions, questions.

Yankee Candles, the granddaddy of all candle companies, was founded in 1969 by New Englander Michael Kittredge, who melted Crayola crayons together to make a candle for his mom. His company grew throughout the 1970s, given a strong push in the U.S. by hippie aesthetics and the back-to-earth-movement, to become the flagship giant it is today, and the company currently offers hundreds of different scents on its website. But few people realize candle scents are like fashion; they change with the season. Fifteen years ago food smells were the rage, like Angel Food Cake and Pina Colada. Now their place is taken by nature odors like Vetiver Cardamom and ones that invoke a time and place, such as Caribbean Marker. Other scents, like Lavender and Sandalwood, remain perennially popular, the little black dresses and navy blue blazers of the candle world.
Who knows what the next decade will bring? Here’s some randomly generated scents that may prove to be the next big thing. Comforting Birth, anyone? Summer Asphalt?
| Nordic Starlight
Vintage Driftwood Tropical Leaves Caribbean Toasted Corn Gingersnap Kahlua Jamaican Carnival Arabian Villa Ocean Festival Sunlit Ginkgo Comforting Birth English Leather Evening Polished New Car Desert Copper Shimmering Agave Salted Cherry Blossom Venetian Bay Summer Asphalt Afternoon Silk Vintage Taffeta Spring Sweater Movie Popcorn Slate and Hot metal Verbena Snowball |
Green Bayou
Evening Shipyard Wet Suede Cherry Pipe Smoke Powdered Lemon Refreshing Oxygen Antigua Currents Dark Waters Green Tea and Incense Blackberry Eggnog Rich Loam and Dark Chocolate Warm Kiln and Redwood Modern Proposal Lava Field Pensive Cigar Christmas Waffles Fresh Washed Blue Jeans Rainy Ozone Sweet Mustard Asparagus and Mango Violet Thunder Mongolian Melon Coconut Barley Sugar |

She was just another typical English bird in a cage.
Trapped, though she could not see it.

The name Cleopatra conjures up images of an exotic Egyptian beauty, an ancient dynasty, a scheming queen, a seductress. In movies she’s been played by Elizabeth Taylor, Claudette Colbert, Vivien Leigh, Joan Collins, and Theda Bara; and to this day she remains a popular Halloween and performing persona for celebrities like Katy Perry, Heidi Klum, Cher, and Janet Jackson. Sometimes she is lily-white, at other times, black or brown. Yet history tells us she was Greek, the descendant of the Ptolemy dynasty of Egypt, who were founded by Alexander the Great’s general pal.
Being a snobbishly Greek family, the Ptolemies did not mix with the native Egyptians during their reign, and the name Cleopatra is not Egyptian either. It’s Greek, meaning “The Glory of the Father,” a combination of kleos (glory) and pater (father.) The Cleopatra we idolize wasn’t the only one either; she was actually number 4 of her lineage, and it’s easy to see why the name was popular. It’s a marvelous mix of syllables both hard and soft, and to English speakers, sounds catlike to the ear, with sharp claws and soft paws. No wonder it’s a popular name for household pets.
If you’re looking for a name like Cleopatra but without the associations, here’s a list.
| Kheaninda
Cleosina Chloeshira Cleahilda Cerenitha Cortianna Nilepatra Thetapati Theoselda Zhahayata Mesatrea Teorutri |
Callasani
Zelemtasa Teotifra Teurunkara Lalabathe Leobyra Cilanopra Clephyndra Cleosombra Seisitaro Heravitra Jerumatra |