The Dracolich, or undead dragon, is the most terrifying and powerful of all dragonkin.
Fortunately they are few and far between.
Dracolich
Worldbuilding Wednesday 8/30/17: Mundane Fare
Let’s face it. Most of the food in a typical Medieval European kingdom wasn’t very exciting.
This is better than most, folks.
Historically, the peasant staple in Europe and the Near East was porridge, which is, basically, a form of oatmeal — whole grains boiled in water or milk, decanted into a bowl and eaten with a spoon. Its thinner cousin was gruel, which was slurped rather than eaten. Wheat, rye, rice, millet, barley, oats, and hemp served as the base. If you were lucky, you had salt or butter to flavor it, and depending on season, fruit and meat. Porridges and gruels were also made with legumes such as peas and lentils. Modern Indian dhaals and rajmahs, as well as Middle Eastern hummus, can be considered a form of porridge, albeit with more varied ingredients.
That said, I admit porridge or gruel isn’t very picturesque to write about.
So, here’s a (randomly created) list of realistic but not very exciting food a typical fantasy character might eat, perhaps at home or in some poor inn. The second column is what a character might eat while traveling on a quest. Note that they rely on ingredients that are cheap and easily obtainable.
I guess.
Home Cooking
| Poached venison and creamed peas
Baked carrots and leeks, served with barley Cornmeal crackers and a thick, buttery, lentil stew A generous serving of rabbit with a side of mashed turnip Goat and lentil soup Mutton chowder spiced with thyme Fried buckwheat and parsnip cakes Whole grain bread and spicy cheese, served with raspberry preserves Mushrooms simmered in pork stock Day-old bread topped with creamed herring Poached fish heads served with pickled turnip |
Road Food
| Fermented goat’s milk
Stringy sausage made from a suckling pig A tough, tasteless pie made with fish and onions Wizard’s blueberry, a pale blue berry with starchy flesh Trail crackers of wheatberry and dried quince Cold slices of headcheese and pork Travel biscuits of wheat and dried fig Thin slices of sheep’s lungs dried in the sun until hard Dwarve’s Loaf * Gulllunga, a hard, crunchy cheese Dehydrated pear strips |
* I will leave it up to you to decide what Dwarve’s Loaf is.
Authentic tableware for your fantasy world.
Geek X Girls has an amusing version of RPG “Rations” (Food) for various AD&D races, complete with pictures. Gives you an idea of what adventurers might really eat on the road.
If you want to prepare your own gruel, here’s a recipe.
Basic Gruel
3 tbs. of groats (any combo of finely crushed grains) or my favorite, grits!
3/4 cup water (more if you like it wetter)
Dash of salt
Little bit of butter, if your character isn’t too poor.
-
- Boil the water and salt in a saucepan on the stove. Slowly stir in groats or grits.
- Add butter. Cover the pan and reduce heat to low.
- Cook for 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. If you like your gruel thicker, continue cooking until you have the consistency you like.
I eat this dish Mexican-style, topped with hot sauce and grated cheese.
Worldbuilding Wednesday 8/23/17: Jungle Girls
Jungle Girls are the female counterpart to Tarzan, Sabu, and countless other wild men and boys clad in flapping loincloths swinging through the trees. Modern interpretations of her began with Rima the Bird Girl, a character in the 1903 novel Green Mansions, which makes her older than Tarzan who debuted in 1912. Like Burrough’s creation she was often an orphan raised in the wilderness by animals or natives, but unlike Tarzan she also appeared as seductress, the wanton Queen or sorceress of a lost civilization. She also played the role of victim for the male adventurer to rescue. Her popularity took off with the pulp and Hollywood age, and she appeared in hundreds of books, adventure magazines, comics, and movie serials. Many incarnations came and went over the years, most forgotten now: Vooda, Nyoka, Lana, Rulah, Taanda, Luana. Sense a pattern here?
Following are some evocative Jungle Girl names writers can use in their own work.
Jungle Girls
| Black Shayina
Jansa the Jaguar Queen Nammina of the Jade Jackal Karida, Lady of the Zebras Ganzha Queen of Paradise Thuvoka the Forest Girl Staranee the Eagle Girl Thuruma, Princess of the Moon Fantna, the Black Huntress Jania, Mistress of the Jungle Farmeena, Queen of the Forest Sabra the Rising Witch Faroka the Falcon Girl Fanta the Elephant Girl Turanee the Lion Girl Nyona the Hyena Girl Beluna the Dingo Girl Farida the Leopard Girl Zanida the Emerald Forest Maiden Rashalina the Swamp Goddess Princess Jondanee of the Sighing City Oyna, the Secret Queen of the trees Thurra the Gentle Huntress Mokkira the Divine Mistress of the Moon Mambalina the Jungle Orchid Yvezana, White Moon of the Rainforest |
Sauma the Blue
Reesa the Barbarian Princess Warrior Queen Rashika Aquilia, the Conqueror Queen Leina of the Lion Clan Vinmeena, the Viking Princess Kyzara the Mercenary Princess Queen Tarona the Savage Oukana the Sacred Queen Nozola, the Destroyer Queen Talkana, the Nomad Princess Tona the She-Devil Thuria the Witch Queen Savage Princess Wiluna Amazon Queen Rhomeena Nika, Princess of the Steppe Green Zanna Karina, the Witch Princess Jaydina the Huntress Alya, Green Ghost of the Forest Tarmeena the Sorceress Queen Cassanee of Sarhonistan Sazha the She-Wolf Mokkana, Savage Lioness of the Plains Xenasa, the Mountain Pearl Ganthonga of the Witch Kingdom |
Our Trash Will Eat Us
…eventually. All things take time.
(artwork by Phil McDermott)
Worldbuilding Wednesday 8/16/17: Dragon Names
No other creature is as evocative of the contemporary fantasy genre as the dragon. They combine snakes, lizards, dinosaurs, large mammalian predators, and human intellects into one massive, armored, fire-breathing package. (Their drives, however, are their own.)
The current version of the dragon dates from within the last 100 years. Tolkien gave us a deadly foe in The Hobbit’s Smaug, but it was really the 1960s when the dragon literally and figuratively took off. Perhaps it was folk trio’s Peter, Paul and Mary’s song Puff the Magic Dragon, or the very dragon-like Cecil the Sea Serpent in the Cecil and Beanie TV kid’s show. It may have been excerpts from Walt Disney’s The Reluctant Dragon (1941) shown ad nauseum on The Walt Disney Show every Sunday night, or the spectacular metamorphosis of Maleficent from evil witch into dragon form in the animated film Sleeping Beauty. Or, perhaps, the many dragon-like creatures populating such Saturday morning fare like The Herculoids. But whatever the case, dragons arrived and made their titanic footprint on the scene, supported in no small way by the growing popularity of dinosaurs among the small set.
That presence eventually bore fruit in novel series like Anne McCaffrey’s The Dragonriders of Pern (begun in 1967) and Ursula K. LeGuin’s Earthsea, and fantasy writers began using them more frequently. But what really lit the fuse was the mass-marketing of the Dungeons and Dragons roleplaying game, with its creatures color-coded to evil (primary colored) and good (metallic) dragons, with different breath weapons and tendencies for each. Over the years these germinal reptiles mutated into dozens if not hundreds of other forms, some fairly ridiculous (Fairy dragons anyone?)
And dragons continue to stretch out their snaky necks in new directions. They’ve recently claimed a section of the urban fantasy market, transforming into slabs of beefcake for the delectation of romance readers who enjoy shapeshifter characters.
Nevertheless, it’s hard to come up with a distinctive name for a dragon character. Here’s a list of randomly generated names to use for your own creations, following the Tolkien, McCaffrey, and LeGuin conventions, sprinkled with some Latin and sibilant sounds.
Dragon Names
| Zynth
Shezuth Star-song Ronth Enuphion the Tyrant Ancalasez the Scourge The Skyghost Jucaumer Grisgrax Ancalpyax Stormwreck the Great Wyrm King Kraitbandar Ansrit Thisme the Burning Maw Nagrumox the Great Worm Sjiag the Clawed Shadow Cnothgon the Wise Gauntgrim the Gray Empress Flamegorger Meblak the Vengeful Ftafer the Burning Plague Ancaruhan Rain-bringer Master Hellscream Luthigne, the Winged Destroyer Tyrlon the White Luthanzi Sun-jewel Ballag the Tyrant Shashos Moongray Ancalluth the Armored Anhkphar the Erudite Rievetaur, Plunderer of the Badlands Incamodan Spyug Tyrphaz the Ancient Nagnaw Thristhrax the Red Grisgrund the Stormlord Unthaug, Ravager of the Western Hills Nagaes the Ice Storm Magraulle Skyribbon Skymourn the Blizzard Queen The Coalstriker Old Hellscrew Flamespark the Wise Aneylong, Bane of the Elven Forests Grisbagon the Terror of the Canyon |
Old Greenfellow
Mistress Moongray Bharcant Sun-ribbon Naegnaw Luthang the Gray Anliredon the Peaceful Anshas the Despoiler Drakpang, Empress of the lands of men Kakunth the Icy Destroyer Balsez Cloudseeker Steug Krautch Unshulagon Scheig Yetroid Cnaufier the Brown Blauph Braum Wynth Vinsripan the Deadly Sveug Smaucnau Mnetzlong the Ravager Sazsent Storm-mist Kletaur Hfaux Yevkhaat Augrund the Dark Watcher Itzelagon Sziug Irsagon Yaluoj Vermaur Essrit the White Ansrinx Eutrapyon the Protector Vermischan the Invulnerable Angme, the Icy Furnace Luthkas the Blue Harkrieve the Wicked Onzilagon Phdaugh Ainsez Stormjoy Bharin Baluin |
Sea Monster
The last thing the oceanographer saw.
(Concept art from the Syfy movie Dinoshark)
Worldbuilding Wednesday, 8/9/17: Bureaucracies
Portrait of Auster Denoerval, by Virginie Carquin
Fantasy organizations are not limited to the grandiose and world-shaking. Scores of bureaucratic organizations run silently beneath the surface, serving to frustrate and stymie your characters in pursuit of their goals. Terry Pratchett, Franz Kafka, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Stanislaw Lem, and J. K. Rowling all used them to good effect. Often they also serve as humorous interludes, as in Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker series. Can they be satirical or offer social commentary? You bet. Often a minor character appears who offers up some pompous resume tidbit, and with this in mind, I created a list of impossible and not-so-impossible bureaucracies below.
Bureaucracies
| Division of Unmentionable Mummification
Ministry of Reptilian Petrification Department of Gustatory Purity Task Force for the Relinquishment of Religious Idols National Institute of Mercantile Transformation Regional Institute of Virtuous Education Managerial Division of Domestic Communication Imperial Task Force on Strategic Studies Federal Task Force for the Creation of Healthy Aesthetics Managerial Institute for Strategic Hygiene Druidic Hearing on Intelligent Horticulture Bureau of Eldritch Battlecraft Imperial Federation of Paranormal Persuasion Federal Division of Philosophical Inquiry Civic Bureau of Artful Labor Imperial Institute of Human Love Robust Hearing on Witches’ Adventuring Federal Institute of Magical Freedom Managerial Bureau of Insidious Comedy Imperial Commission for Free Athletics Managerial Commission on Spiritual Freedom National Institute of Mercantile Management |
Bureaucracies also include scholarly societies as might be found associated with a college or university.
Scholarly Societies
| Bindenum Institute of Ophidian Intelligence
Imperial Task Force for the Study of Military Oddities Royal Academy of Archaic Discoveries Crossneedle Royal Campaign for Demonic Rights League of Imperial Scholars The Order of Hooded Sages Professors of the Phlegmatic Trillium Bright Wheels Literary Society College of the Iron Laurel Studious Society of Perfumed Fools Way of the Fiery Wheel Students of the Fulsome Heart Scholars’ Conference on Gently Persuading Religious Literature Sage’s Conference on Progressive Legendary Diseases The Blacksmiths of Literature Drovers of Civilization Tricksters of Intelligence Buskers of Warcaft The Flaming Faction of Hell’s Scholars The Eternal League of Skywise Scholars Imperial Academy of Draconian Discoveries Academy of Dignified Military Education |
Laughter
They are laughing at you always.
And they never stop.
Worldbuilding Wednesday 8/2/17: Inns, Taverns, and Eateries
The Granddaddy of all Fantasy fiction tropes must surely be the Medieval Inn, with its open hearths and wenches in low-cut bodices, unsavory characters lurking about, and bowls of hot stew. (No less a luminary than Tolkien created the seminal template with The Prancing Pony.)
In truth, inns served a vital function in the Medieval/Renaissance world. Travel and commerce were becoming more common, and at the same time, highwaymen and robbers began to make open-air camping unsafe near settled areas. Where there was a business need, then as now, a business sprang up to serve it. The hospitality and food inns served was diverse, depending on the area’s resources and its wealth.
Here’s a list of randomly generated inn names you can use in your own works, and a list of House Specialties they might serve to their hungry patrons.
Inns, Taverns, and Eateries
| The Grotto of the Dark Virgin
The Merry Peacock The Whistling Fox Retreat The Longshoreman’s Treasure The Double Apple Inn Bunker of the Foolish Dragon The Windlass The Laughing Moon The Bard’s Dogfish The Four Bottles Alehouse The Monk’s Tumbling Mug The Sapphire Phoenix The Whistling Horse Inn The Dagger and the Pearl Four Mugs Hideaway The Minstrel’s Jewels The Tipsy Pine Golden Dragon Tavern The Black Star Inn Inn of the Sleeping Moon The Admiral’s Blue Haven |
Mermaid’s Golden Alehouse
Keep of the Prudent Virgin The Happy Basilisk The Captain’s Crab Shanty of the Puzzled Mug The Silver Compass Alehouse of the Blue Dog Fifty Crown Alley The Grinning Raven The Mermaid’s Flying Anchor The Stumbling Weasel Inn The Thirsty Frigate The Salty Cockerel The Prince’s Plow The Wench’s Dirty Dungeon The Fainting Gypsy Retreat of the Four Jewels The Pirate’s Plot The Singing Shark Tavern Manor of Dancing Spirits The Golden Dog |
On the Menu… (House Specialties)
| Devil’s Pudding: Pureed mussels and collard greens.
Goodwive’s Wonder: Slow-roasted bacon glazed with raspberry juice and the whites from goose’s eggs. Poslim: Eel and pumpkin stew. Geltonshaft: A creamy cheese with a red-orange rind. Gorgon’s Omelet: Slow-roasted gizzards glazed with berry juice and scramble-fried with hen’s eggs. Blueberry Sinner: A nutty ale from the east. Dibbleqat: Fermented goat’s milk sweetened with apple-quince syrup. Duke’s Dice: An alcoholic drink made from bulgur mash beer mixed with milk. Peach Wonder: A delicious ale from the far south. Whore’s Stew: Roasted fish mixed with collard greens. Dascups: Fried oat and garbanzo bean cakes. Savorfern: A savory pasty cheese made from mare’s milk. Grundyrice: Thin slices of suckling pig dried in the sun until chewy. Vanbittant: Cold fermented kefir blended with mead. Scullylunga: A soft, filling cheese flavored with lemon. Spinsalt: A starchy white cheese made from unicorn milk. Dashobble: A dark, pasty tea brewed from alini leaves. Scaddylak Scarlet: A local beer. Dame’s Cross: Frothy cucumber juice flavored with nutmeg. Gobblelunge: Fried goat with pickled mushrooms. Gods’ Broth: Slow-roasted pork soup decorated with the whites from chicken’s eggs. Funnack: Roasted pike stuffed with boiled broad beans. Bobbleflan: Roasted tripe served with lentils. Rummyborne: A northern brandy that tastes of cherry and fennel. Caskdrop: A local beer. Raspberry Envy: A bright pink alcoholic beverage brewed from hyzenberries. Scullybeck: A soft cheese flavored with bacon. |