Worldbuilding Wednesday 2/14/24: Love Magic

AI Art

Since it’s Valentine’s day, I thought I’d do a list of spells and magical items related to love, or its lack. Caution, a few of these are NSFW!

The fellow above is from Starry AI’s “pinup” art filter. The prompt was a variation of “bearded wizard with arms raised, a cloud of valentine candy hearts, Arabian Nights, fantasy” which gave me unsatisfactory results in every non-Midjourney program I had save for this pic, which looks like an old-fashioned valentine printed on a card. Not exactly Arabian Knights, but Turkish and I guess that’s good enough. He’s a Turkish Love Wizard! With a box of baklava.


Love Spells and Magic Items

Staff of the Marriage Broker: Used to determine a future couple’s marriage success. Typically used in societies where the youth’s marriages are controlled by their families. Anyone with magical ability can wield it. They work in various ways, but the two young people must be present. The mage will typically touch each one on the head and then plant the staff between them. The first quality to be tested is compatibility: common values, temperaments, experiences, etc. The tip will glow green for high compatibility (basically best friends), amber for neutral, and red for indifference or hate. Next to be tested is physical attraction and passion, which is a white light whose strength ranges from blinding to barely there depending on the strength of these qualities. Every society has its own idea of what the “proper” measurements may be, but no parent wants a marriage for their child with no passion where they will fight like cats and dogs.

The Staff of the Marriage Arranger is an enhanced version for wealthy or noble families. In addition to compatibility and passion, the staff tests fertility and health, blinking the number of children the couple can expect to have. Note that it only tests the young people as they are at the present; one using birth control, for example, will show up as infertile. The staff can also be programmed with a specific person’s profile so the mage can search far and wide for the perfect mate for them, which is often necessary with royal offspring.

Gloves of Ecstasy: The wearer of these magic gloves induces unbearable arousal to their sexual partner every time they are touched, acting like a temporary mind control spell. They are usually made of soft,  fine silk or suede.

Trousers of the Love Missile: These cursed trousers only work on males. They make the wearer experience an erection at the most inopportune times.

Beads of Cupid’s Entrance: Basically, a set of magic anal beads. Those taking in the beads experience such ecstasy their Intelligence and Wisdom are lowered by 5 points, while their Charisma, in the eyes of those using the beads on them, is raised by 5. They are most often carved from luxurious materials like jade or marble.

Reverse Attraction: When cast, it changes the sexual attraction the target feels for another into indifference.

Virgin Mate: Change’s one sexual partner back into a physical virgin.

Kaleidoscopic Heart: This spell causes the target to keep changing their mind about who they love.

Extend Chaste Relationship: In the midst of adventuring, a platonic relationship often grows into a sexual one. But it isn’t always feasible to pursue one due to the dangers of the quest. This spell cools the sexual attraction for a set period of time while preserving that friendship.

Siren Love Song: A powerful spell that gives the caster’s voice the power of a Siren’s regarding love and sexual attraction.

Heedless Love: The recipient will fall in love with a completely inappropriate partner. The duration of the infatuation depends on the mage’s level.

Scroll of the Clear-eyed Mate: This magic scroll contains a list of questions that the reader’s husband or wife-to-be must answer completely and truthfully. It only works on the intended spouse, and no other. The spouse doesn’t have to be willing to answer but when the user starts to read aloud, the spell on them begins. The AD&D equivalent of a prenup. It is made up especially for each user.

Swing of Welcoming Engagements: A decorative swing hung from a tree laden with soft cushions and big enough for two. A humanoid sitting in it, swinging gently, is guaranteed to a attract flirtatious intention no matter their looks or age.

Jealous Bastard: Instills uncontrollable jealousy in a being over their lover or spouse. The female version is Jealous Bitch.

Sweet Voice of Cupid: A cantrip that instills a feeling of well-being in the target, making them open to finding someone to love.

Treatise on Draconian Mating: This book contains information about the sexual and reproductive behavior of various dragon species. It is not magical, but contains useful information.


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