Lovecraft jokes

“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.”
― H. P. Lovecraft


Google “Lovecraft” and “Humor” and you’ll find an astounding number of jokes and cartoons, the Mythos giving Star Trek and Star Wars a run for its money in the meme department. Here I’ve culled out a few.

Q:   Why did Lovecraft go to Hawaii?
A:    He wanted to learn how to Cthulhu dance.

Who writes the most frightening tales from the dark web?
… HTTP Lovecraft

Q:   What does Cthulhu have for lunch?
A:    Fish & Ships


Necrotelecomicon: The book of dead phone numbers.

Q:    What are Lovecraft’s favorite TV subscription services?
A:    Cth-Hulu and HB mi-gO.

A customer in a sushi restaurant orders sashimi of tako (octopus.) But to his disgust, the tiny creature is delivered to him still alive. “Waiter!” he calls. “This octopus is still alive.”

“Not alive, Sir, only dreaming.”



H.P. Lovecraft needs some alone time for serious writing, so he takes a boat to Antarctica. There, on a snowy beach and wrapped in furs, he takes out pen and paper and starts to compose. But he’s soon interrupted by some starfish-headed, barrel-shaped beings who start to play volleyball.

So he packs up and sets up his table and chair further inland. But again the starfish-headed beings come by, this time whistling loudly among themselves, to lay down a picnic cloth and bottles of wine.

This time Lovecraft moves even further away. But again the silence is broken by the squawks of a giant blind albino penguin, who is running away with a whole pack of the alien beings chasing it with spears.

“Blazes,” Lovecraft mutters. “I’ll never get any writing done today. It’s just one damn Elder Thing after another.”



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