Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/29/21: Twittersnips 2021 (Spells and Magic Items)

This year, I structured my worldbuilding tweets differently. I stuck to spells and magical items for fantasy gaming, and the response was good. The magic ranged from the practical and logical (Amulet of the Whippet) to the elaborate (Curse of the Necromancer’s Feet) to the flagrantly useless (Sunshine’s Color-Changing Plum). Here’s the complete list.

 

2021 Spells


Actor Sleep:
Causes anyone performing in a play to fall asleep on stage, embarrassing them greatly. Can also be used by an actor to simulate sleep for a certain role.

Afneil’s Fur Cleanse: Cleans the fur of any creature, including magical ones, as well as items and clothing made of fur.

Anchor Ash: Anything within a circle formed by this magical ash cannot be removed by magic.

Angeline’s Glorious Set of Horns

Angeline’s Glorious Set of Horns: Gives the caster a large, polished, impressive-looking set of horns that would set any fae being to envy. Adds +2 to Charisma as well. (Depending on the ingredients, horns may be from deer, sheep, antelope, or cattle.)

Ashvage’s Tender Wave: Softens the crash of a huge wave or tsunami so it doesn’t hurt creatures or structures.

Badger and Blister: Creates an invisible force that intermittently – and when least expected – pinches, slaps, and pushes the victim, as well as creating small blisters on exposed skin as if live coals have been thrown at them.

Baleful Polymorph: Enchants a creature to transform into its opposite.

Banish Mangled Boots: Makes a pair of beat-up, worn-out boots disappear forever (even magic ones).

Bantalerto’s Blood Dolphin: Turns an ordinary dolphin into a (non-supernatural) vampiric one.

Bastard Advantage: Any character born out of wedlock can use this spell, and while under it, they will always strike first.

Befoul Forest: Transforms a normal forest into a decrepit, tangled thicket full of poisonous plants and putrid odors.

Blandarva’s Giant Sea Urchin: Increases the size of a sea urchin by a factor of 10.

Blithe Spycraft: If caught at intelligence work or found out as a spy, the spell enables the recipient to successfully feign total innocence.

Bolt of Water: Minor spell that directs five gallons of water from the caster’s index finger as if it was a fireman’s hose. Can knock over hobbits or other small creatures, or put out small fires.

Brinna’s Tiny Horns: Makes two small, devil-like horns appear on the forehead of the recipient.

Brittle Basilisk: Turns the flesh of a basilisk hard and brittle so the next strong blow will shatter it.

Bubble of Acid: Looks like a soap bubble, but when popped it sprays a deadly acid.

Buttershoes: Curses a pair of shoes or boots so the wearer will be slipping constantly, as if wearing two sticks of butter.

Carpet of Floating Vegetables: Turns any random grouping of fresh produce into a flying carpet for the spell’s duration.
NOTE: The produce is still capable of being eaten while in this state.

Celestial Contentment: This clerical spell makes the recipient feel like they have been blessed by an angel and everything is all right with the world.

Celestial Perfume: Creates a scent so lovely and powerful those within a 10’ will stand still, mesmerized, to breathe it in.

Cerebral Longing: Creates a desire in the victim for knowledge, so much that they will leave off whatever they are doing and pursue .

Charm Cessation: All charms stop working within 10’ of the caster.

Feline under a Chimeric Cat spell, in the midst of changing from one breed to another

Chimeric Cat: When cast on any feline, it makes them change appearance constantly for the time of the spell. Most effective on domestic cats.

Chrysa’s Tenebruous Confinement: Imprisons a creature within a ring of impenetrable shadows.

Clairvoryant Mimicry: Makes the caster seem to be an accomplished far-seer, but what they see is all fictional.

Clesogart’s Severe Ejection: Makes the victim suddenly vomit.

Clone Jewelry: Creates a copy of a specific piece of jewelry but using worthless materials.

Cloudfeather: Lets the caster sculpt clouds into novel, feathery forms, fooling weatherwatchers into false predictions.

Collar Bull: Stops a raging bull of any type and brings it under the control of the caster.

Collect Chimera Sadness: Chimera tears are one of the most potent of magic items, and this spell enables them to be teleported directly from the monster’s eyes into the caster’s vial.

Composure Burrow: Creates a small cave in the earth for a distraught character to hide in until their emotions are under control.

Convert Closet To Tomb: This has two versions.
#1 (Literal) Creates a place to inter a deceased creature out of an ordinary closet, according to the creature’s religion.
#2 (Figurative) Anyone opening the closet under this spell dies instantly.

Corelmara’s Moss Rice: Changes common forest moss into a nutritious food with the flavor and texture of cooked rice.

Craven Confabulations: Causes the recipient to tell elaborate lies instead of the truth (but they are convinced they are telling the truth)

Create Marine Wolf: Gives an ordinary wolf the desire and skills to live in the sea: swimming ability, appetite for fish, etc.

Create Winged Sphinx: Turns an ordinary sphinx into a winged one.

Create Winged Unicorn: The child-mage Mylitta Ponee created this spell to combine her two favorite creatures. Has the side effect of dyeing the unicorn’s mane and tail pastel shades.

Cressund’s Toasting Twig: Cantrip that lengthens a small twig into a pointed stick than can be used to toast marshmallows or cook wieners.

Cressund’s Toasty Tootsies: Warms the feet of any warm-blooded creature.

Crystal Jaw: The victim of this will be knocked out cold at the next blow to the face.

Curse of the Necromancer’s Feet: Makes the victim’s feet become wrinkled and gnarly, with yellowish-orange callouses on the soles, deformed toenails, and a cheesy odor. Subtracts -8 from Charisma if anyone sees them. (Of course proper footgear will hide the condition.)

Danlec’s Spitting Slag: This druid spell, when cast on a fresh lava flow, will cause it to spit out a glob of hot magma aimed at the target’s face.

Darkness in a Bottle: Obscures the contents of any bottle, making it seem like it is full of the blackest ink. The spell is broken when the bottle is uncorked.

Darlingle’s Sabretooth Shadow: Creates the menacing shadow of a large, long-toothed cat within any light source.

Dauntless Fungus: Speeds up, by a factor of ten or more (depending on level) the spread of lichen, mushrooms, mold, or other fungi.

Dazzle Wasp(s): Creates bright, dancing lights to confuse a wasp, or nest of wasps, from attacking.

Debra’s Blast of Burrowing: Creates a line of force that literally blasts a tunnel through soil. Can’t be used on rock.

Decrease Sprite Hair: If sprites have infested your house and their shedding is causing you allergies, this spell will rid your dwelling of 99% of the nasty hairs.

Delayed Appendage Movement: When cast on an animal, this minor spell delays the motion of the next limb they move (fin, leg, wing, etc.) for a few seconds.

Delayed Blessing: Has the effects of a regular cleric spell, but can be timed to take effect later.

Detect Malicious Flatterer

Detect Malicious Flatterer: Reveals if someone making a flattering comment has ill intentions toward you or is just being sociable.

Dispel Podiatrist: Any physician or healer working with the feet will get up and leave their patient under this spell.

Dractheon’s Paperfest: Creates the effect of a rain of confetti in the caster’s vicinity.

Enchant Vituperative Peasant: If you are having an altercation with a human of one of the lower social classes this spell is for you.

Enhanced Whispering: Enables the caster’s whisper to be heard by another up to 200’ away.

Enzeda’s Blistering Pebble: Enchants a small rock to be attractive to passersby. But when they pick it up, it will burn them.

Fairy Nose: Enables a mage to cast a complicated spell in an instant by merely wiggling their nose in a cute way.

False Gorgon: Disguises the caster as a snake-haired gorgon. Any “victim” the false gorgon looks at will freeze in place for the duration of the spell, thinking they have been turned to stone, although they really haven’t.

False Leak: Creates the illusion of a leak in anything used to hold water or some other liquid, or anything that floats on water like a boat.

Fart of the Roc: Creates a sound like thunder that will temporarily deafen all in the area, then a horrible stench that will make more sensitive creatures faint.

Faunca’s Cooling Wardrobe: Changes all the clothing of the target into items suitable for a hot, tropical realm.

Ferrick’s Monkey Thighs: Lets the recipient climb a tree as quickly as a monkey.

Fight Self: The victim is convinced a doppelganger of themselves is attacking them, resulting in some hilarious maneuvers.

Find Naga: Locates the nearest Naga within a few hundred yards.

Fingers of the Minstrel: Lets any amateur musician play as well as an experienced one.

Fire Draught of Chaldmash: For Middle Eastern settings. Enables the users to take in a huge mouthful of any drinkable liquid from a cup and spit it out as a blast of fire.

Firebreak Fists: Makes the caster’s fists and arms immune to fire, and anything on fire that they punch quenches / diminishes the flames.

Flatten Porpoise: Turns a porpoise into a cetacean halibut-type creature like a pancake with both eyes on one side of its head.

Flattering Stride: Allows the caster to walk gracefully and keep their balance in situations where they normally wouldn’t (like under attack, walking on ice, etc.)

Fool’s Pulse: Creates an illusory pulse in a dead creature, tricking friends into thinking they’re alive.

Freezer Buns: This cantrip makes the victim’s arsecheeks feel uncomfortably cold. Creatures that wear trousers or leggings will turn around to see if they are still wearing them.

Frustrund’s Zombie Nap: Makes the undead fall asleep for a few minutes and become unresponsive. The physical component is chamomile.

Gaze of The Violet Witch: Makes victims cower and tremble physically even if they feel otherwise.

Gresalve’s Sylvan Encounter: Only cast in a forest. Ensures the party will meet an inhabitant of the area in the next few minutes. Caster has no choice of what kind of creature, however.

Halt Furry: Any being dressed like an animal will be unable to advance when this spell is cast.

Hand of indolence: Makes one of the victims hands extremely lazy – it won’t so work or fight, and moves at only one quarter speed of the other.

Herbscry

Herbscry: A druid spell that lets the caster identify the useful medical properties of any herb unfamiliar to them.

Heroic Equine: Instills courage and adds +1 to attack, damage, and hit points to any equine or monster with equine parts. If the rider is the caster, the points increase to +2.

Hilwartha’s Horned Whale: Grows a narwhal-like ivory horn on the head of a whale, dolphin, or porpoise that ordinarily wouldn’t have one. The spell can be doubled or even tripled to grow multiple horns.

Honey Lava: Gives hot, bubbling lava the appearance and aroma of fresh honey. Probably not a good thing.

Hybridize Squirrel and Scorpion: Creates a rat-sized, nimble, tree-dwelling animal with a poisoned sting on its tail. Appearance varies.

Innocent Conversation: Makes a talk between two beings appear light and innocent to overhearers even if it is emotionally charged.

Interdimensional Convergeance: This powerful high level spell brings up to five dimensions to a single meeting point where beings can travel between them.

Invisible Whistler: Creates an annoying invisible whistling being that follows the victim around.

Iphalata’s Inept Cry: Muffles a yell, shout, or loud cry from the victim.

Iplachel’s Starry Rain: Gives raindrops the illusion of tiny falling stars in the region of the caster.

Irritate Howler

Irritate Howler: Angers any animal that can howl – monkeys, wolves, werewolves, Cerberus, etc. guaranteeing they will make a lot of noise.

Isno’s Entertaining Breath: Cast in cold weather, this enables the caster to sculpt their cold exhalations into amusing animated forms.

Jaffalair’s Perfect, Marvelous Chest: Enchants any like-sized item to appear as the treasure chest of a victim’s dreams, while having no effect on others.

Jerene’s Fractional Digestion: The target’s digestion is slowed by halves over 24 hours, first half, then 1/4, then one 1/8, etc. Useful if someone has been swallowed whole.

Journine’s Comfortable Contractions: Takes away the pain of childbirth for female beings in labor.

Kittengrab: Lets the caster grab (and hold) any kind of young feline that passes within ten feet of them.

Lion Velocity: Makes the recipient charge as quickly and fiercely as a lion in combat, giving them a +3 on the attack.

Lock of the Necromancer: “Locks” undead creations such as zombies into place so they can’t move or speak.

Lungs of the Condor: Enables the caster to breathe and act normally at high altitudes, up to 24,000 feet.

Magnify Insanity: Makes an insane being really, really, insane.

Map That Thing: Will create a map of literally anything.

Marine Creation: Used to create small, nonintelligent forms of ocean life such as corals, shrimp, jellyfish, krill, etc.

Marplan’s Terrible Thunder: Increases the sound of a peal of thunder to the point where it deafens everyone who hears it for several minutes.

Mental Request: Lets the caster send a short telepathic request to any being within their sight range, like “Throw me that axe” or “Look to your right.” The recipient has the right to refuse the request.

Mind Soup: Makes the victim’s intelligence and wisdom go down to 5 for the spell’s duration.

Mobile Fracas: Creates an invisible moving “bubble” roughly five feet in diameter that causes any being it passes through to argue and fight each other.

Moonloose: Releases a were-creature from the influence of the full moon for a few hours.

Morell’s Appetizing Voices: Provides a means of torturing starving creatures by disembodied voices that follow them describing all manner of delicious foods. Can also be used to instill appetite in a creature that won’t eat for other reasons (depression, etc.)

Muddy Glass: Smears a thin layer of mud on glass windows so no one can see in or out.

Multiply Livestock: Makes a group of farm animals appear up to ten times as numerous as it actually is.

Multiply Talons of the Predator: When cast on a carnivorous clawed creature, it creates an extra talon on each toe with which the creature can attack.

Mystic Hands: The caster is able to perform intricate, graceful patterns in the air with their hands as if they are performing spellcasting (but in reality nothing is happening.)

Oceanic Messenger: Commands any form of marine life to carry a brief message to the recipient, who must be in the same body of water.

Oddling’s Conjured Teeth: Creates a full set of gleaming white teeth. Impanting them is another matter, however.

Pallenine’s Prideful Petrification, often called Pallenine’s Painful Pretrification

Pallenine’s Prideful Petrification: Turns any boastful character into stone.

Pangolin Ivy: Makes the leaves of an ivy plant as tough as a pangolin’s scales.

Pet Spectacles: Creates a pair of glasses for a pet dog, cat, ferret, parrot, etc. that sharpens their vision.

Phantom Lamp: Creates a small globe of light that bobs around in the distance, fooling watchers into thinking it’s a torch or lantern.

Professor Urlston’s Sealife Tricks: Any sea creature can be affected by this spell. It causes them to perform all the tricks seen at your average aquarium – jumping through a hoop, carrying the caster on their back, balancing a ball, etc.

Pum-chum’s Crocodile Tongue: Lets the caster roar like a rutting crocodile, terrorizing everyone within a half mile. Also enables them to eat raw meat with gusto like a crocodile.

Pyavaud’s Endless Click: Enchants a small object such as a pebble to emit clicks for a certain length of time. Useful to locate a cache or find a way back.

Quicken Bean: Makes beans sprout in a few seconds and start to grow.

Rain of Fury: When cast on a martial artist, this enables them to attack at triple speed for three rounds.

Refresh Journal: While traveling or on a quest, a character’s journal is likely to become dirty, stained, torn and dog-eared. This spell erases all wear so it becomes like new (but the information is still there.)

Replace Gelatine with Lead: This powerful spell stops a gelatinous cube right in its tracks.

Replace Gravel With Sewage: Changes a gravel path into one made of foul, filthy latrine leavings.

Reptile Sun: Increases the strength of a sunbeam on reptilian creatures, warming them up.

Resuscitate Courtesan: Awakes an unconscious or sleeping courtesan (male or female) from any injury, sickness, or spell. Note: Only courtesans, not prostitutes.

Reverse Elven Terror: Calms elves who have been hit by a fear spell or the like.

Ruby Eyes: Makes the user’s irises turn a deep bloody red.

Set Carnivore Table

Set Carnivore Table: Creates a feast for any meat-loving being.

Sigarch’s Spittle of Stunning: Any creature the magic-user spits on will be so stunned and speechless they can’t take any action for a few seconds.

Silayla’s Stringless Boots: Changes boots with laces into ones that can be easily pulled on.

Sincard’s Sneezing Freedom: Prevents a creature from sneezing for a set time.

Slithering Hands: The victim will feel up to ten cold, wet, humanoid hands groping all over their person.

Snowgorgon: When cast on a Medusa, any creature she turns to stone becomes a statue of ice and snow instead.

Soft Sneeze: A being under this spell will sneeze almost inaudibly and not enough to catch anyone’s attention.

Sphere of Persuasive Feathers

Sphere of Persuasive Feathers: Creates a small ball of flying feathers that follows the victim and tickles them unmercifully until they submit to the caster.

Spiritual Feet: When cast on a cleric, they automatically begin to walk to the closest place they can commune with their god.

Split Siren: Makes a siren appear to be in two places at once. If she is singing, it doubles her song.

Squeaker Exhaustion: Anything that squeaks can be silenced with this spell: hinges, mice, dog toys, etc.

Squirrelcraft:  Lets the caster do whatever a squirrel can do: build a nest a of leaves in a tree, hide cashes of food and locate tem flawlessly, climb trees, etc.

Strabvens Stinky Camel,
pictured here cast on a Kweh, a legendary bird-headed camel. The rider is about to faint from the stench.

Strabven’s Stinky Camel: Increases the raw animal odor of any kind of camel (or camel-like creature) to the point where a rider or handler will want to run away from it as quickly as possible.

Summon Ambergris: Usable only on the sea or shoreline. Any ambergris in the immediate area will appear by the caster, the area depending on the caster’s skill level.
NOTE: The ambergris can be of any age or size. Keep in mind fresh ambergris is nothing better than whale poop.

Summon Basalt Gargoyle: Usable only in volcanic areas.

Summon Underwear: A useful spell if one is caught without. Note that it is summon, not create, so some nearby creature will be missing his or hers, and probably be irate about it.

Sunshine’s Color-Changing Plum: This useless spell makes a ripe plum cycle through purple to red to yellow to green.

Sweeten Mud: Lets the caster derive as much refreshment from drinking mud as they would from sweet, pure water.

Sylrik’s Reversed Hippogriff: Reverses the animal parts of a hippogriff. Instead of a horse with an eagle’s head, wings, and claws, it becomes an eagle with a horse’s head and hooves.

Sylvan Solitude: This druid spell creates the illusion of a quiet, peaceful forest around themselves, in which they can pray and recover spells.

Tamane’s Illusory Amethyst Path: Creates a path up to 500’ long with gravel of glittering amethyst crystals. Usually cast to lead into a trap.

Tame Passion: Useful for dates that get too intimate too quickly.

Tenzar’s Reptile Swing: Enables the recipient to pick up any reptile or reptilian creature (up to 500 lbs.) by the tail and swing it around. The reptile can be used either as a weapon or if released is flung at least 100’ away.

The Viscount’s Quick Digression: Changes the direction of a conversation without any of the participants realizing. Only applies to nobles and royalty.

Thicken Rainbow: Most rainbows are composed of water vapor and only a few millimeters thick. This spell increases that to several feet.

Thimble Meal: Compacts a full, normal meal into a space the size of a thimble, with no loss of flavor, temperature, or nutrition. The thimblefull can be eaten in a few seconds whereas preparation of and eating the full meal can take hours.

Torturer’s Device Repair: Any item of physical punishment that breaks while torturing a victim can be restored to working order with this spell.
NOTE: Only usable by evil-aligned characters.

Touch of the Goblin: Creates fear in low-level characters or NPCs. Player characters over level 1 are immune to it.

Transform Coins into Razors: This horrible spell sharpens the edges of coins, turning them into skin-slicing razors. Especially awful when cast as someone is running their hands through a treasure chest.

Transform Spear into Lava: This awful spell maims any being holding it. Can also be cast on a spear that has already hit its target or is on its way.

Trivember’s Gazing Tome: Creates a pair of baleful, staring eyes on any magical book.

Turnbull’s Essence of Defeat: Makes opponents give up before they even start to fight. Can only be cast before the first blow is struck however.

Ultherica’s Vile Bloom: Reverses the odor of a flower, so what was once an incredible perfume becomes as odious as sewage.

Umphrey’s Crazy Quilt

Umphrey’s Crazy Quilt: Joins scraps or pieces of cloth together to create a magical quilt that lets a being sleep comfortably in temperatures that are too cold (down to freezing) or too hot (70 – 120 degrees.)

Understand Peacock Carnality: Enables the caster to know everything about peacock partner selection and mating rituals.

Unseen Earthbull: Creates an invisible earth elemental the size and shape of a bull which can plow a field or pull a cart five times as fast as a regular ox.

Uzmik’s Diabolic Nourishment: Creates a meal suitable for any Lord of Hell.

Veiled Willow: Hides (makes invisible and undetectable) a willow tree of any size for the duration of the spell. Also any item made of willow wood.

Vesrys’s Marvelous Attractor: The duration of this spell is very short, but anything the caster thinks of in that time will be attracted to them, within reason (it won’t pull the moon down from the sky, for example.)

Viral Hunger: Always cast on a group of creatures. When one of them becomes hungry, all the others will follow. Variants include Viral Slumber, Viral Thirst, etc.

Von’s Canine Pincher

Von’s Canine Pincher: This minor spell pinches any canine or canine monster (werewolf, Cerberus, etc.) hard enough to get their attention or distract them for one round.

Walrus Nose: Causes thick, hairy bristles to appear on and around the victim’s nose.

Weaken Cudgel: May be cast only on clubs, bats, and cudgels used in melee. The next time the cudgel makes a successful hit, it will snap in half.

Wicked Morel: Changes an ordinary mushroom into a poisonous one.

Wixtralina’s Fiery Bridle: Makes the bridle of any type of mount burst into flame, harming the mount and likely bucking off the rider.

Yavilson’s Sour Blood:  Makes the blood of the caster taste awful to any bloodsucking being or animal for the spell’s duration.

Your Consideration Matters: Mutes loud speech from nearby creatures but ignores other sounds altogether.

Zinster’s Invisible Cliff: This powerful spell hides a cliff up to 300 feet high from the gaze of passing spectators.

Zylron’s Endless Ascension: This has two versions.
#1 Makes the caster look like they are rising up into heaven, but in reality they are still on the ground.
#2 The caster does rise… and rise… and rise… until they reach orbit and die from lack of oxygen.

 

2021 Magic Items

Amphirla’s Azure Book of Patterns: Intended for mages with sewing skills, this book contains directions for making magical cloaks, tunics, gowns, and other clothing.

Amulet of the Whippet

Amulet of the Whippet: Enables the wearer to run as super-fast speeds. However, they will need three times as much rest to recover.

Axe of the Baby: When any humanoid creature clutches this axe, their fighting arm will shrink to the size of a baby’s.

Balm of the Catfish: When rubbed in the eyes, this magic item enables the user to see through muddy water.

The Banquet Fork of Dariq the Madman: This cursed fork forces the owner to eat twice as fast and three times as much so they inevitably become sick to their stomach.

Basket of Putrefaction: Any food item put in it will be spoiled completely in a few minutes.

The Black Book of Vestindurrow: Contains designs for magical tattoos that enhance the wearer’s charisma, up to +5.

Boots of the Ox: Gives the wearer the stamina and determination of an ox, but also its slow pace.

Bootwax of Blinding: For leather boots only. This paste makes them so shiny they will temporarily blind anyone who looks at them for 1 – 4 seconds.

Brazier of Wafflement: In addition to burning incense, this holy item can generate up to a dozen small waffles per day which have the effect of a cleric’s bless spell when eaten.

Bubbles of Quiet Despair: Consists of a vial of soapy liquid and a small blower. The bubbles make onlookers sad instead of happy, making them more likely to give up or go away.

Buskins of Seamanship: These magic shoes will steady the wearer on any kind of boat and they will not be knocked overboard by even the strongest waves.

Cape of Quick Flogging: When this cursed item is tried on, the victim receives a quick flogging on their back bloody and severe enough to disable them for 24 hours.

Cape of the Beast: Enables the wearer to fight like a wild animal. That animal is the first large, non-magical creature the wearer sees after donning the cape.

Cape of the Blacksmith: When worn, this black leather cape enables characters with no such skill successfully forge simple non-magical metal objects like nails, chains, etc.

Cape of the Canter: Any rider no matter what their skill can make an equine creature canter perfectly, and stay seated, while they wear this cape.

Cards of Rumination: Looks like a deck of tarot cards, but this cursed item never foretells anything. The owner just sits there, turning them over and over, instead of taking action.

Carpet of Wrestling: Looks like a small, finely woven, Persian carpet with colorful designs, about 8’ x 8’ in size. The owner is guaranteed to win any wrestling match with a humanoid creature as long as they keep at least one foot on it.

Chalice Lens: When filled with water, this beautiful golden cup allows the owner to see whatever is going on in back of them in the shifting liquid.

Chalice of Malice

Chalice of Malice: Adds potency to the spells of Evil clerics when filled with the blood of an innocent creature.

Chopa’s Brew of Entrapment: Forces a shapechanger to revert to their humanoid form and stay in it for the potion’s duration.

Cleaver of the Necromancer: Severs the limbs of any dead creature with one blow as long as it’s used at the joints.

Cloak of the Parakeet Thief: This tiny scrap of fabric, tied to an ordinary budgerigar, brings it under the control of the magic user and forces it to steal small objects.

Coin of Destiny: Whoever claims this coin will be sidetracked by the next situation they encounter, thinking it to be their ultimate purpose in life and reason for living.

Concentrate of Stuttering and Tripping: Looks like a helpful magic potion, but makes the drinker unable to speak or walk without everyone laughing at them.

Cowl of Hopping and Dancing: When worn, it makes the wearer prance around like a total fool until they collapse from exhaustion.

Cowl of the Fox: When flipped over the head it creates the illusion the wearer’s head has turned into that of a fox.

Crystal of Ventilation: Absorbs foul air around the holder and enables them to breathe normally. The crystal changes color over time, and when it becomes completely dark, it crumbles.

Cushion of the Feline Sorcerer: Created by a magic-user who loved cats, this large, comfy cushion attracts whatever feline(s) are in the area to lay down on it and purr happily.

Didjeroo of Dingo Taming: Suitable for Australian-like settings, blowing on this magic horn will tame a wild dingo, and songs will give it instructions.

The Dutiful Brown Sea Serpent of Cadbury: This wooden automaton shaped like a sea creature carried travelers across Kirsand Strait for two centuries.

Dwarven Ruminant Knots: An ancient artifact prized by Dwarven Kings, the knots (of which there are three) are said to grant a wish if completely untied.

Helm of the Toasting Spellmistress: Enables any female magic user to give such witty and heartfelt banquet toasts their charisma is enhanced by +2.

Earcuff of the Crocodile: A golden earcuff that can be worn by any being with humanoid ears (e.g. round and made of cartilage.) Lets the wearer sense the presence of crocodiles and repel them if they appear.

Effusion of Endless Trembling: Tests out as a magic potion but when drunk it inflicts palsy on the victim so they shake all over. Only curable by a magic antidote.

Ember-Jerine’s Floating Reliquary: A wooden cabinet that follows behind a cleric to safely contain the bones of a saint or other holy person.

Esma’s Ripping Shears: These cursed scissors won’t cut neatly, they will rip whatever they’re cutting into pieces.

Essence of Cyclops Hide Oil: Prized by the wealthy for maintaining healthy teeth and gums.

Eyulla’s Scabrous Bag: Makes a bag look so old, beat-up, vermin-infested and smelly no one would dare to open it.

Fan of Free Bandages: This white fan looks ordinary but generates bandages capable of stopping wound bleeding and promoting healing.

Fan of the Phoenix

Fan of the Phoenix: This artifact turns sparks into embers, embers into flames, flames into a roaring inferno.

Faunca’s Pigments of Gnomish Fertility: When a female gnome is painted with certain runes on her belly with this paint, she is 99% sure to conceive a child with her mate.

Fireworks of Timestopping: When set off, time is actually frozen for as long as they remain vibrant and visible in the air, except for the caster and their immediate company.

Font of the Marsupial: A magic stone basin that heals any marsupial creature immersed within and restores them to full health.

The Green Elementalist’s Ewer of Forceful Speaking: Even timid characters can make an aggressive debate after drinking from this item, which is carved of solid jade.

Helm of Animal Wrestling: Gives a +3 to the wearer in hand-to-hand, weaponless combat with any non-magical animal.

Helm of Batrachian Charm: Allows the wearer to summon, converse with, and command toads of all sizes. Side effect: Warts on their face and scalp.

Helm of Blissful Apathy: When a fighter puts it on, it makes them wander around in a euphoric daze, their strength, intelligence, and wisdom reduced by three quarters. It must be wrenched off their head by force because they won’t want to remove it. A cursed item that is often called a Helm of Advanced Relaxation to fool adventurers.

Helm of Terrible Memory: When worn, completely destroys the fighter’s capacity for short term memory. They will literally forget what they were doing ten minutes before.

Imle’s Fetching Physic: This bubbling, creamy potion kills all vermin on the drinker’s body.

Incense of Hope: When burned it adds to the inhaler’s morale. Can affect any number of creatures within 20 feet.

Infusion of Halibut Blood: Enables the drinker to lie disguised on the bottom of the sea, just like a flatfish.

Infusion of Respiration Control: Allows the drinker to control their breathing, for example to survive in a place where there is little air.

Infusion of Stomach Removal: This poison is so potent it dissolves the victim’s stomach.

Kalza’s Venomous Belt Jewel: This always serves as decoration on a belt. When it is worn the jewel stabs into the wearer’s stomach and injects a deadly poison.

Kerchief of Running: It’s always red and is worn knotted around the neck. Allows the wearer to keep pace with a herd of running beasts without getting hurt by them.

Kimberly’s Kaleidoscopic Potion: A liquid held in a glass tube but not drinkable. Instead, when held to the eye, the wielder is entertained by ever-changing patterns of light and color.

Kraken Zest: The grated skin of one of these monsters can be used in many spells involving the sea.

Kryspin’s Amphibian Dice

Kryspin’s Amphibian Dice: Weighted ivory dice that lets the user play – and win at — craps or Yahtzee underwater.

Loudun’s Golden Manual of Hypnosis: Contains all the mind control spells amassed by the mage Loudon over his lifetime.

Lute of Serpent Halting: Will stop the advance of any kind of non-magical snake or snakelike creature when played.

Lute of the Truce: When played, this instrument inculcates peace between two warring beings or groups.

Mace of Canine Defense: Grants a +5 to the wielder’s defensive maneuvers against dogs, wolves, or any kind of canine monster.

Mace of the Prudent: In melee, this weapon will always attack the opponent with the least hit points who will die the soonest.

Manticore Mummy: The desiccated remains of this creature can be used for a number of items, such as magic arrows, flight and bravery potions, and rings of resurrection.

Mildvun’s Helpful Wafers: These small thin cookies will induce whatever state of mind the eater needs to be in to best handle the current situation – sympathy, courage, fortitude, etc.

Mornut’s Chaste Lamp

Mornut’s Chaste Lamp: While this lamp is burning any creature in the same room with it will not want to have sex.

Net of Emotional Suffering: Any being caught in this net will feel like they’ve lost their last friend and will burst into tears.

Orb of Blasphemy: When thrown at a cleric reciting prayers, this one-use item changes the prayers into their opposite without the cleric knowing.

Ovetta’s Bone Crock: Made from the skull of a large humanoid creature, this vessel is used to create potions for necromancers.

Perfume of the Cleansing Ocean: Has a clear, bracing, salty scent. When applied, it removes negative emotions and makes the wearer alert and energized.

Philtre of the Wasp: Heals wasp stings no matter what the size or number.

Pipe of Concentration: When smoked, this carved wooden pipe allows the user to do the things they need to do without getting distracted, and get them done in half the time.

Potion of Executioner Muscle: Makes the drinker’s arms hairy, thick and muscled, granting +3 to their strength and attack and making it more likely they will strike a killing blow.

Potion of Facial Maturity: Makes the drinker’s face appear more adult. Has no effect on those over the age of 30. Useful for getting into bars.

Potion of Sudden Confoundment: The drinker is stunned for several minutes and unable to decide on any course of action.

Prick’s Pastilles: Anyone ingesting one of these pills becomes a total ruffian.

Rhenfrell’s Marvelous Relaxer beginning to take effect on poodle

Rhenfrell’s Marvelous Relaxer: This cream permanently straightens the hair (or fur) after one application.

Ring of Easy Swearing: Removes all inhibitions regarding the wearer’s language. The victim will curse at the drop of a hat, anytime, anyplace.

Ring of Probuscidaen Refreshment: Creates enough nutritious food to feed an elephant or elephant-like creature for one meal. Includes mammoths and mastodons as well as fantastic creatures like Ganesha and Baku.

Ring of Terrible Growling: Doesn’t do anything except emit loud growls that sound like they come from a wild beast. Useful for threatening someone.

Rug of Easy Sweeping: This small throw rug cleans up very easily no matter how it is sullied.

Saltcellar of Disparagement: When this salt container is put on a table those present will do nothing but complain about the quality of the food even if it is a king’s feast.

Scroll of Fever: When anyone reads this cursed scroll they will instantly suffer a 104 degree fever.

Scroll of Helpful Contraction: When this scroll is read, the next spell cast will take effect or finish in half the time.

Scroll of Slave Garbing: If you just bought a slave and he or she is naked, this scroll will dress them adequately for the journey home. Up to ten slaves can be outfitted.

Shi-Ku’s Many-Eyed Tarot Cards: The owner of this item is able to see through the eyes of the beings of the cards.

Shoes of the Sauropod: Looks like a normal pair of shoes but has several magical attributes.
1. Makes the ground shake every time the wearer takes a step.
2. Makes their footprints look like those of a Titanosaurus.
3. Can be cursed, according to the whim of the DM.

Solar Cloak of the Pterosaur: Powered by sunlight so it never ceases working. This brown, leathery cloak becomes pterosaur wings and allows the wearer to fly in a slow, stately manner.

Spray of Avoiding Bridges: Comes in a glass bottle with an atomizer, like a fine perfume. Any creature sprayed will develop a deathly terror of bridges and be unable to set foot on one.

Staff of Fattening: When pointed at a creature, the staff doubles its weight, and it’s all in fat cells, no muscle.

Staff of Unavoidable Farting: Whoever claims this cursed item will be ripping one constantly.

Star-shaped Bone Rune of Underwater Petrification: Works only under the ocean. Turns the victim into a coral and barnacle-covered statue.

Sword of Sneezing: Anyone attacking the wielder must save vs. magic or be overcome by a sneezing spell.

Sword of the Camel Flatterer: This +1 sword works at +3 potency in the desert. In addition, it allows the wielder to ride a camel or camel-like creature with ease.

Telldag’s Freeing Stockings: These magic socks enable the wearer to escape rope, chains, or other material binding their legs or feet.

Tent of Turmoil: Looks like a normal, useful tent. But any characters overnighting in it will be at each others’ throats in the morning.

The Three Books of Trinrake: Artifacts. The first book contains magic spells regarding creating things, the second, maintaining them, the third, destroying them

Eye after using magical Tincture of Opal

Tincture of Opal: When this rare, expensive potion is administered to the eyes, the user gains +3 to their charisma as the eye’s color and twinkling nature is enhanced.

Tolk’s Jolly Good Tome: Magic book about all the ways halflings can be artfully levitated into different patterns and positions.

Tome of Amber Secretions: Looks like a magic book, but will permanently ruin any books it is shelved between by sweating drops of fresh amber all over them.

Tonic of Illusory Freezing: Will make the drinker feel they have been encased in a block of ice. But useful for treating heatstroke.

Tonic of Orientation: If the drinker is lost, this tells them exactly where they are!

Tonic of the Serpent’s Eye: Gives the drinker a mesmerizing, unblinking stare. If a mind-controlling spell is cast at the same time, the victim is automatically affected.

Turban of the Black Manta: This turban looks like it’s made of black silk, but when thrown into the water, it becomes a giant manta ray under the owner’s command.

Ukstrund’s Blazing Comet Sock: Only one is ever found. When activated, a small comet will leap out and zoom skyward, causing everyone present to stop what they’re doing and stare in awed wonderment.

Ungeant of Scholarly Skill: When rubbed in the eyes, it lets the user stay awake, and at peak efficiency, all night for research or studying.

Ungeant of The Exalted Fire: These cream is used by worshippers of any fire god or goddess. It grants immunity to heat and flame when spread on the body.

Vispop’s Handbook of Unintelligent Cackling

Vispop’s Handbook of Unintelligent Cackling: Looks like a fat, juicy spellbook, and when ruffled through, seems to contain magic, but all it does is laugh evilly, betraying the owner’s whereabouts.

Vungla’s Portable Steam Chamber: This small wooden box transforms into a toasty hot cedar-sided sauna large enough for four humans to enjoy. On the down side, it can also be used to imprison beings and parboil them to death.

Whiskers of the Sand Dragon: These stiff, gold hairs can be used in any spells involving the desert.

Whitevoice Potion: When drunk, it turns the voice of the drinker into a soft static in which words can only be heard by careful listening.

Wyveen’s Commando Trousers: When worn, it will absorb the character’s underwear.

Ywana’s Crackling Ice Marbles: These marbles are made of clear glass. When thrown on a frozen body of water, they cause the ice to break apart.

Znu’s Nectar: A drop from this enchanted vial will make the drinker want to shun all human contact and go live as an ascetic hermit – permanently.

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