Worldbuilding Wednesday
5/20/20:The Best of Twittersnips (Magic Items, Part 1)

Original D&D artwork by Erol Otus

There’s a very broad category, in gaming, of magical items that are not scrolls, potions, clothing, or weapons. They range from everyday objects like braziers or books to esoteric ones like church organs and actually body parts (like the hand and eye of Vecna.) These were always the more interesting ones too me. What could a magic bedpan do? Or a crust-crimper for a pie?

Here’s some favorite randomly-generated items from my twitter feed, 2017 – 2020.


Magical Items, Part 1

Alpha-Ina’s Interdimensional Water: Water that appears in more than one dimension. For example, a basin of this water in the material prime can be used for inhabitants to drink from in the Ethereal plane.

Amulet of Stolen Courage:  Enables the wielder to steal morale from one creature, and bestow it on themselves or on another.

Amulet of the Sea Serpent: Allows the wielder to converse with sea serpents, but not to control them.

Baton of Raptor Shrinkage: Decreases the size of any predatory bird it is pointed at by 75 percent.

Bedpan of Noisy Tumbling: This cursed item will always fall out of the bed when used, spilling its waste and making a lot of noise as it rolls over and over.

Blossomstrong Biscuits: When one of these magical items is crumbled into the soil surrounding a plant, it makes the plant grow healthy and strong and reach maturity ten times as quickly.

Boathook of Incineration: When thrown onto any boat, the hook makes it burst into flames.

Breathspoon: Allows the user to capture the last breath of a dying man, which can be used in certain necromantic spells.

Carafe of Villainous Breath: Makes the drinker’s breath so foul they can actually stun others with it.

Chain of Virgin Iron: The only thing that will hold a dark elf.

Chime of Self Verification: When struck, beings within 10’ of the wielder will see them exactly as they see themselves. (Be careful of your emotional state when using this item.)

Coffin Of Wondrous Shape: Magically sizes itself to contain the corpse of any creature up to horse size. More importantly, it magically locks so those inside can’t get out.

Compass of Assassination Orientation: Tells the user which direction assassins are approaching from, whether or not they have ill intent.

Crust-Crimper of Deadly Appetite: Any pies made with this kitchen tool instill a monstrous appetite in whoever eats them. Victims will keep eating until exhausted and/or vomiting.

Cube of Thunder: Lets the user capture a thunderclap as it occurs and play it back later.

Dragonfly pen: As light and agile as a dragonfly to write with, and never needs to be dipped in ink.

Eregan’s Squamous Organ: An organ with giant snakes instead of pipes that sing in human voices.

Erica-Ricah’s Helpful Salt: Dispels evil spirits when sprinkled in the corners of a house.

Gem of Basilisk Mummification: Turns a basilisk into a dried up mummy with all its petrification powers intact.

Granny’s Dirt Cube: One square yard of dirt magically compressed into a 1-inch cube. Useful for transporting soil or blinding foes

Grimoire of the Virtuous Spellcaster: Contains spells for good-aligned magic users only.

Halfling Glue: This colorless, odorless, textureless substance is undetectable by most creatures, but when a Halfling touches it, they will stick fast. Hilarious prank for parties.

Handmirror of the Fox: Any kitsune in human guise is revealed as what they really in this item’s reflection.

Hesjerine’s Arboreal Grease: When smeared on a tree trunk or branch, this prevents any being from climbing it, as they will slide off.

Ink of Widow’s Wrath: When a letter written with this ink is read by a female being, it causes her husband to die, if she has one.

Jewel of Humiliating Ecstasy: Whoever clutches this accursed jewel will orgasm over and over until foaming at the mouth, causing those witnessing it to laugh at them.

Jewel of the Gorgon: This expensive gem looks harmless, but when peered into deeply, it turns the looker into stone.

Karlatrin’s Magma Marbles: Marbles that can become red-hot pieces of molten glass.


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