Transformed Anthology


Nothing is quite so deliciously freeing as caving to your instincts.
For centuries, shapeshifters have personified our impulse to bow to our animalistic nature.

From lycans to skin-walkers and everything in between, shapeshifters give us a chance to connect with our inner-selves and celebrate our intriguing differences, our passions, and ultimately our humanity through their necessity of striking a balance between their human selves and supernatural selves.

My M/M erotic romance story “Tender Meat” under my other writing name of Trece Angulo is appearing in this new anthology from Pen and Kink Publishing.

You can order it here on Amazon.com.

“Tender Meat” is the tale of a knight, and a dragon… but neither the knight or the shape-shifting dragon are exactly what they seem:

Xephron opened his folio again. He did in fact draw his own kind, but in a fantastic way and not as the living, breathing creatures they really were. He wondered if this fool would know the difference.

When he turned back the knight had settled into the basin. The Wyrm Ironblood had indeed hurt him sore, the scar very pink, almost red, against the creamy pallor of his torso. Xephron had seen naked villagers before, of course, when they were washing in the stream or urinating. But the knight was of different stock from them. His health and vigor gave him the appearance of having a deep, kindling glow within.

“Why do you stare so, young Zef?” Argaive said with some humor. The servant had left him a knotted rag and he took it up to wash himself.

“I had no idea you knights were so … uninhibited.”

“Uninhibited? As in what?” Argaive laughed. “We are a celibate
order.”

“A pity,” Xephron murmured.

“With women.” With unexpected strength he grabbed Xephron’s arm, drawing him down to the level of the basin, his earnest, bearded face but a hand’s length from Xephron’s. “The Holy Lore says nothing against the joys of masculine sex.”

Worldbuilding Wednesday 6/6/18: Cooking with Magic

From left to right: Jesrick’s Magical Cheese Tower; cupcake decorated with Perula’s Starry Sugar, and roast unicorn meat served at the Letchlake Solstice Festival.

Inspired by a thread on the useful AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler forums.

Magic can be used for a lot of things, but rarely in a story is it mentioned for cooking… and Medieval cooking often sorely needed it. Here are some randomly-generated food-related items to have fun with.

Food-related Magic Items

Nose of the Chef: This small clay model of a human schnozz is able to sniff food odors and tell the wielder exactly what is cooking. Silver noses can also list the ingredients of the dish, and gold ones, both that and what is needed for improvement.

Tapestry of the Whispering Beekeeper: This marvelous artifact measures 10’ x 10’ and depicts a garden in full bloom stitched in rainbow threads. It can be used to harmlessly capture a swarm of honeybees, no matter how big, by throwing it over the cloud.

Perula’s Starry Sugar: Useful to bakers, this enchanted sugar will twinkle like stars when it is sprinkled on top of a dessert item.

Illeshiva’s Diabolic Biscuits: These biscuits taste so good the eater is compelled to eat more than one, but for every one eaten, their appetite only increases.

Wand of Instant Sanitizing: Cleans and disinfects any kitchen item it is pointed at.

Snacktime Shoe: Only one of these shoes is ever found. When worn it conforms to the shoe on the wearer’s other foot. When the heel is stamped firmly on the ground, an apple and an energy bar appear in the wearer’s hand. The quick snack restores +1 hit points when eaten and gives a temporary +1 to Constituition for up to an hour afterward.

Jesrick’s Magical Cheese Tower: Creates an ornate, picturesque tower out of a like amount of cheese. Sure to be a hit at parties.

Knife of Pastry Folding: When wielded by a pastry chef, this knife quickly folds dough for strudels, croissants, phyllo rolls, etc. When wielded as a weapon, it rolls the opponent’s clothing up while they are wearing it, causing them to trip over their own pants, or get tangled up in their tunics.

Invisible Heat: This spell creates an odorless, smokeless, invisible campfire from ordinary wood. Intended for travelers who wish to remain concealed.

Ghanelan’s Stomach of the Flea: This spell shrinks the recipient’s stomach to the size of a flea’s stomach for the duration of the spell. Useful for dieters.

Magistrate Pio’s Pie Detection: The pastry-loving Captain of the Guard of the wizard town of Whittelwoorl created this spell, which detects any kind of pie within a half-mile radius.

Letchlake’s Unicorn Oven: A priceless artifact of the town of Letchlake, this room-sized oven, which resides in the kitchen of the baker’s guild, can completely roast a gutted unicorn in just under twelve hours with all the creature’s magical properties intact. Only a dozen unicorns have been roasted over the years and the feasts memorialized in the town’s history. Because of this, elves will not trade there.

Nutcracker of Doom: Looks like an ordinary nutcracker (think of the one from the ballet) and works like one, too – for the first few uses. But after that, don’t put your finger between its jaws, or you will lose it.

Cooling Trousers of the Chef: These enchanted white pants will keep kitchen staff comfortable in even the hottest kitchen.

Iseart’s Fantastic Bacon: Bacon is a common item to eat on long journeys and country inns, and it can get tiring. But this spell makes common bacon taste truly delicious, giving a bonus to morale and strength for hours afterward.

 

Optics

We have our eyes on the stars.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/30/18: Fantasy Villains

A good villain needs a good name.

When writing fantasy, which is a genre that must be larger than life, your villains should be larger than life, too… and that means an evocative name, something to let the reader know they are, indeed, the villain, in whatever made-up language or naming system you’re using. Let’s look at a few.

In the Harry Potter series, Harry’s peer nemesis is named Draco Malfoy (All Latin derivatives: Draco = dragon, Mal = bad, Foy = via, or journey/travel/way) while his sister is Narcissa (read: Narcissism, from the Greek legend of a youth who fell in love with his reflection in a pool.) The word choices give us hints to their characters and roles in the series. And of course their aunt is named Bellatrix LeStrange, with its hints of both dominatrix and stranger. All are of the house of Slytherin, whose symbol is a slithering snake, and whose ethos of stealth, double-dealings, and espionage contrasts with Gryffindor’s robust, honest heroism.

J.R.R.Tolkien could have called Sauron the Darklord something else, but the Saur- nicely brings to mind ferocious tyrannosaurs, as well as sore.

Ba’alzamon of The Wheel of Time series is an unsubtle mashup of demons Ba’al, Amon, and Beelzebub.

The name of Queen Ravenna in the recent Snow White films lets us know this female villain is both ravenous for power and as spiritually dark as a raven is black.

Sometimes names for evil characters just sound bad. Consider Jorg Ancrath, Hugo Drax, Gargamel, Cthulhu, and Yyrkoon.

Here’s a few free names to use or inspire.

Villains

MALE

Senator Zuthrum Epdark

Scaralax

The Marquise of Bronzegaunt

Count Bindwither

Mzarane Satskrit

Shinker Grayscar

Izund Kilshiv

Jopaz Burnlick

Gleriax Ravenpoint the Bloodkissed

Count Perviage Baleform

Killamprey

Duke Oetri Fennaurcht

The Wizard Whitewhisper

Jarins von Strabbark

Emporer Terius Blackblaes

Barch Fexwood

Mournmist the Assassin

FEMALE

Yna Umbrex

Lady Pendothy Penbitter

Ludzmira Crydarken

Princess Nephothry

Lady Veska of North Grimstark

Guild Mistress Symitra Thraunshift

Scorla the Sorceress

Aenlie the Hag

Helitta Darkjaw

Silona Redworm, the Witch of Legankills

Lazullanjre

Lady Mareslaughter

Gineffarvra Scabshard

Princess Demiseena Traskaith

Vintzeda di’ Micairre

Jarinza Darksparrow

Mitchra Jeiki Hartvenom

Children of Blood and Bone [Review]

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Children of Blood and Bone

by Tomi Adeyemi
Balzer + Bray, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2015

Tomi Adeyemi’s West African fantasy Children of Blood and Bone is one of the most talked-about YA releases of 2018, scoring the author a seven figure movie deal. Reviews have been gushing, but is it worth all the hype and hopes cast upon it? Well, yes and no.

The fantasy is set in a small island kingdom reminiscent of West Africa. There’s a pantheon of gods who gifted the dark-skinned, white-haired Maji people control over the elements — death and life, health and disease, fire, air, metal, etc. with the stipulation that the powers were to be used for the good of all. But sometime in the past the ruling Maji misused their powers, and so rulership passed on to another people, the copper-skinned Koridan. The Maji continued to serve the general population, but in an uneasy standoff with the ruling house. Twelve years prior to the story’s beginning the Koridan King Saran performed a pogrom on the Maji and their priests and attempted to destroy the sacred artifacts that linked them with their gods. All their magic disappeared, and unless the artifacts are gathered back together and a ceremony performed in, like, two weeks, the magic will be gone for good. It’s a clunky backstory and more than a little graceless, which, to be frank, dulled my appetite for reading further (though I did.)

In the first chapter the heroine of the story, Zélie, is introduced, the daughter of a poor fisherman and a Maji mother known as a Reaper – one with the power of death and the ability to control souls. Initially, Zélie was a cliché – the simmering rebel whose propensity for acting before she thinks (including speaking against injustices) lands her in trouble, though it’s clear the writer wants us to laud her for it, not think of it as a personal flaw like her family does. It’s really a way to move the story along, a McGuffin, if you will. Her family is being taxed to death because King Saran wants to bankrupt and destroy the remaining de-magicked Maji. He’s not doing this arbitrarily because he’s the bad guy; his first family was killed by Maji during an attempt to reconcile the two peoples, and he decides that magic corrupts societies and must be destroyed. It’s a valid point given how the Maji met their downfall, and adds to his shading as a villain. He’s probably the most-rounded character in the book.

When Zélie, whose mother was horrifically killed in Saran’s purge, meets Princess Amari, Saran’s teenage daughter, the plot begins. Amari read like a character added later in the writing process by the author. She’s not really needed for plot to work, but in the second half of the book, she adds depth. Again, she starts out as a cliché – the princess who doesn’t want to be a princess because of the twittering tedium of court life and her expected role to play in it. When Saran kills her favorite Maji handmaiden, Amari impulsively steals one of the artifacts necessary for the Maji ceremony and runs away, a plot turn that, to me at least, seemed shoehorned in and might have been handled better. Eventually she, Zélie, and Zélie’s brother Tzain are drawn into the quest to find the other artifacts, with Amari’s older brother, Crown Prince Inan, pursuing them on the orders of the king.

The story is told in first person present. The POV hops between Zélie, Inan, and Amari, and I do mean hop; most of the chapters are short, giving a choppy, slightly seasick effect. They were labeled by each character’s name, so I wasn’t confused. But they were not very distinctive from each other, either, and they all sounded like mouthpieces for the author. A sense of verisimilitude was missing; I didn’t feel any of these three could exist outside of the book. Admittedly first person present is not my favorite voice to read. I never know who the narrator is supposed to be telling the damn story to, for one thing. The technique worked well in Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, because Simon was telling it in stream-of-consciousness, organizing his life as he experiences it into a narrative to try to make sense of it. But in Children, as well as in Red Queen and Wither, which I’ve also read, the author seems to be using it for sweekability: hooking the reader with enough immediacy to thumb past page after virtual page on a Kindle or cell phone app, even if they’re on a bouncing bus or in a noisy classroom. This sweekable voice isn’t structured like an oral narrative that requires introspection. It’s all sharp jolts and action, and past the first three chapters I got very tired of the characters’ constant listing of their anxious tics: hands gripping staffs, teeth grinding, stomachs churning, etc. as if the reader can’t guess how they feel from the dangers of the plot they’re subjected to. It’s a common mistake for new writers, to be fair.

The first half of the book was run of the mill for a YA fantasy, or any fantasy really, only the novelty of the African-based setting making things interesting. Some parts, like the lengthy detour the quartet make to the holy city where the Maji priests once lived, might have been cut. The religion made sense as being Voudoon-based, not one with a hierarchical clergy and stiff rules about this and that, which seems more Western in nature. There’s a part there with a cut rope bridge aiding the characters’ escape, and Prince Inan ordering the bridge rebuilt to pursue them… ignoring the issue of how to get to their other side of the canyon to do that, if there’s no bridge.

But the story did pick up significantly in the middle, when Zélie discovers a hidden camp of diviners in the mountains whose magical powers are accidently activated by the artifacts. Though the encounter is cliché (the old trope where two groups who are really on the same side don’t know it because they can’t/won’t communicate properly) the ensuing tribal festival and the budding romance between the Prince Inan and Zélie make it magical. Then the action really starts when Saran sends his troops in to get the artifacts back and the prince’s loyalties are torn. At that point, the characters really began to learn and grow, and I was keen to discover how they did it. The story is resolved in a blockbuster way after a prison break and scramble to a secret island that only appears at the summer solstice where the magic ceremony must be performed.

So, 4 stars for the end, 2 1/2 for the beginning: I’ll round it out to three. Did I wish it was better? Yes. Will I be reading the next book? Yes.

 

The Fates’ Strange Fate

We used to be The Three Fates, until Lachesis unleashed her inner Dominatrix.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/23/18: Eurospy

Operazione Poker, a Eurospy film

The Cold War just got hotter. Typical poster (note the Sean Connery look-alike) for a Eurospy film.

In the early 1960s James Bond was the coolest fictional character ever. He weathered life-threatening situations with humor and aplomb, handled fisticuffs as well as martinis and expensive suits, and was always able to bed beautiful women. Dr. No, released in 1964, inspired a whole trend of spy movies and parodies of spy movies, like Casino Royale (1967) and Doris Day’s The Glass Bottom Boat. Such movies drew from their cultural roots in the Cold War and rendered its very real dangers into fantasy. The U.S. had knock-off secret agents Matt Helm, Flint, and Napoleon Solo, and the Europeans a whole subgenre of cheaply produced, exploitive — and thus terribly fun — movies known collectively as Eurospy. (The Glorious Trash pulp fiction site reviews a bunch of them here.)

Characters in Eurospy films were always running from one country to another and referencing obscure Cold War people, places, and things. If you’re writing a historical thriller set in those times, a parody, or a spy spoof, here’s some randomly generated creations you can use.

Eurospy Names

FRANCE

Parembrys

Osseilles

Chegboux

Gruyrobles

 

RUSSIA

Kuniv

Vosdrozh

Ulskygrod

Pelyabinsk

 

SPAIN

Rudras

Murmad

Igoza

Palananca

ENGLAND

Wistonden

Chesscastle

Liverwood

Stousetint

 

NETHERLANDS

Imsverdam

Drusjfels

Untwerth

Unydhoven

 

CZECHOSLOVAKIA

Schagia

Vnodzka

Znojri

Plebyrny

GERMANY

Ruthenhofft

Viermaisse

Brumbergnen

Gürlin

 

FINLAND

Hjarinki

Sjasa

Peinajika

Soesjoki

 

TURKEY

Aurasymky

Issayul

Byapsari

Zamukallu

Aliens

Ecstasy of the deepest kind.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/16/18: Plague and Pestilence

Plague Doctor, by ChainclawofBloodClan

Many fantasies are set in a never-never-land of times gone by. Usually it’s Medieval Europe. But the Roman Empire, Bronze Age Britain, and Dynastic Egypt also get their times in the sun. All have one thing in common: the dearth of plagues. Which, admittedly, are hard to incorporate into uplifting adventure stories. They’re depressing, and tend to kill a lot of people, characters included, and thus derail plots and quests.

Diseases are easier to find as local color or plot devices. John Norman’s Gor series had a leprosy-like disease called Dar-Kosis, and Harry Potter, Dragon Pox. Grayscale features in George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Should you need a quaintly named disease, plague or pestilence for plot purposes, here’s a randomly generated list of them.

Plagues

The Brown Wasting

Putrid Croup

Scratchpphleg

Black Ptomordis

Grim Pox

Agfulo

Red Colic

Heartblind

Brown Scurvinia

Black Choke

Spotted Chrothenia

Sprondophy

Wheat Hives

Scarlet Twitch

Blue Septis

Crock Hives

Bulbsy

Pule Ague

Camp Death

Yellow Rot

Sprondopsy

Agenza

Laughing Boils

Black Cerewad

Dog’s Eye Effluvia

Cyanlera

Herpenza

Ditch Grippe

Dancing Parula

Screaming Spasms

Softbones

Blue Chromordis

Gringopsy

Dyspraxis

Sponge Pox

Speckled Plague

Ureacropsy

Centipede Curse

Rotting Fever

Land Flux

Thin Plague

Dragon Catarrh

Rotting Canker

Catchscrat

Scrotflora

Red Malaise

Blood Fever

Liver Cramps

Scarlet Blindness

Summer Contagion

Scrotthae

Paraenza

White Chill

Brown Cropsy

Wooden Figures

Daphne’s curse was sometimes extended to both sexes.