My favorite Twittersnip magic items of 2022.
2022 Magic Items
Anzha’s Bubble: This glass bubble measures 2” and constantly shifts colors. When held in the palm, it induces memories of the most tranquil place the holder ever visited, inducing in them calm and peace.
Bag of the Banshee: This cursed sack screams loudly whenever it is opened, scaring everyone out of their wits.
Baton of Relieving Boredom: It’s easy for a guard or watchmen to become bored and miss something vital. This small stick ensures they stay alert with a lively interest in everything they see and hear.
Bone of the Champion: The Champion Chef, that is! When thrown into a cookpot it will make the meal twice as tasty and nutritious and also double the amount of people it can feed. Note that it is a real human bone.
Book of Tenebruous Sealife: Contains spells for summoning sea creatures living in the abyssal depths.
Book of the Ebon Peacock: A darkly sinister and lavishly illustrated tome of grooming and fashion for lawful evil magic-users. Any of those that read it find their Charisma enhanced permanently by a point.
Book of The Gray Fox: Contains spells for enhancing the charisma and comeliness of older magic-users.
Boots of Endless Descent: The wearer is able to walk tirelessly as long as they are moving down, not up.
Brew of Obliteration: This magic alcoholic drink causes immense sorrow, then makes the drinker pass out. When they come to, any recent traumatic events are forgotten. A curse but then a blessing.
Brew of the Centaur: This potion temporarily bestows a centaur’s wisdom, strength, and stamina on the drinker. The secret ingredient is centaur sweat which doesn’t make it tasty.
The Copper Book of Orsingard: Contains spells that tap the suffering of intelligent creatures and turn that suffering into extra abilities for the caster. Only evil mages can use this book.
The Elephant Impaler: A long, sharp +1 spear that does special damage against proboscideans, penetrating straight through their bodies to trap them on the shaft.
Elixer of the Manticore’s Tongue: Makes the drinker’s voice sound rough and deep.
Gisyest, The Ring of Endless Ale: When activated, hosts or inn staff will keep serving the wearer and their party beer without payment or regard for other guests.
The Seven Godly Books of Pilbant: It takes at least a year to read all of these. But when finished, clerics should find their personal charisma enhanced.
Headband of the Dragon: This woven, brightly colored headband from a tribe of humans allows the wearer to communicate mentally with any kind of dragon.
Helm of the Aging Pilgrim: This acts as a mere +1 helmet, but for every religious quest the wearer undertakes, the protection increases by +1.
Hessenyaë, the Ring of Insults: The wearer is always guaranteed to come up with some stinging quip or cutting remark when wearing this item.
Irhyin’s Fiery Sleigh: This magic relic looks like a sleigh carved from solid obsidian. It travels over hot lava like a regular sleigh travels over ice while protecting the riders from heat, fire, and smoke. Note that the owner must find a creature to actually pull the sleigh.
Jar of Spider Trapping: This magical jar actually sucks spiders into it from up to five feet away, letting the owner trap and dispose of them. (The spider can’t be larger than the jar.)
Jinaboshi’s Hatchet: Not an actual hatchet, this wooden hoe-like weapon is covered with carvings of skulls and can be used as a +2 war club. It can also be used to scratch any itch, including those caused by butterflies’ wings.
Lenses of Sobriety: These magic glasses make it impossible for the wearer to indulge in any mind-altering recreational substances.
Libram of The Neutered: Contains spells related to eunuchs and the making of eunuchs.
Lunar Canine Cloak: Works only when the moon is visible in the sky. Gives the wearer the tracking ability of a hound and the ability to command and communicate with domestic dogs.
Marzamara’s Deer Vial: This small clay tube stamped with the head of a stag holds unending supply of black tattoo ink.
The Milk Opal of Santelmo: This smooth opal stone contains flecks of iridescent rainbow colors. It summons a giant white, fire-breathing lion who obeys the holder.
Nectar of Convenient Weakness: Makes the drinker appear sick or injured even if they aren’t. Useful if you want to chicken out of some upcoming conflict.
Nindonayë: This magic ring lets the wearer catch any kind of mouse or rat with their bare hands.
Nyar-Marlye: Also known as the Ring of the Pooka’s Pouch. It allows the wearer to teleport small items into his or her pocket without anyone noticing.
Oyë, the Ring of Paper: Enables the wearer to create flawless origami while wearing it.
Pathwise Lichen: When rubbed on a being’s shoes, this lichen will grow wherever they’ve been walking, enabling them to be followed or tracked. The lichen growth is permanent.
Philtre of the Sphinx’s Tongue: Makes the drinker able to tell exceptionally good riddles. Similar to Philtre of the Sphinx’s Ear, which enables the drinker to solve any single riddle.
Pilvar’s Soothing Slippers: Soothes and refreshes the feet after a long day of travel, restoring 1 – 4 hit points. Usually made of sheep’s fleece.
Pocket Ballista: This little wooden model of a ballista, no more than 3 inches long, becomes a full-sized one with the right word.
Potion of Approval: For one hour after the owner drinks this, all their plans and requests are said yes to, no matter what they are.
Potion of Demon Hair: This oily, pale silver liquid tastes like a combination of sewage and cooked carrots. Afterwards, demons will be entranced by the drinker and won’t hurt them. On the downside, they may kidnap the drinker out of fascination and hold them captive.
Ring of Bright Exit: Lets the wearer make a dramatic exit by teleporting them 200’ away with a bang and a bright flash of light.
Ring of Henchman Skill: This highly desirable item raises the level of all henchmen in the wearer’s employment.
Ring of Seven Prisms: A slim silver ring that, when held to a source of light (but not worn on a finger) creates a psychedelic light show of rotating prismatic rainbows that will awe simple-minded creatures.
Ring of Sisterhood: The power of this ring is to bond all female beings in the area of the wielder in friendship and towards a common goal. It is silver and set with pink gems.
Ring of The Marketplace: When worn, the wearer will always buy low and sell high by a factor of 10%.
Ring of the Peach: 1) Will ripen unripe peaches. 2) Makes damaged or overripe peaches wholesome again. 3) Gives the wearer a fresh, peachy complexion that adds to their charisma.
Scissors of the Third Leg Pants: Whatever item of clothing is made with these cursed scissors will be messed up in some way, for example, making a pair of pants with three legs and not two.
Shoes of Seven-Sin Warning: For clerics undergoing trials of ascetism and denial. They pinch the wearer’s toes when they are about to succumb to anger, lust, greed, pride, sloth, gluttony or envy.
Six-Acorn Carrot: When pressed against the forehead, this withered, but magic, vegetable gives the holder keen, clear eyesight up to two miles away.
The Steel and Ruby Ring of Trusk: Gives the wearer mental control over any agent of law and order, like police, guards, judges, jailers, etc.
Sword Of Fragrance: In addition to being a +1 weapon, this blade can spray a pleasant aroma around while fighting to neutralize nasty odors.
Therizandria’s Paper Comb: Looks like a hair comb, but when run across any object of paper, it tears it into fine strips. (Similar to a paper shredder.) Useful for destroying sensitive documents.
Vampiric Canoe: Looks like a regular canoe, but drains the energy of those who paddle it, so they become tired twice as fast.
Vulture Bone Flute: When played, it lures scavengers into the player’s area.
Wafers of The Fool: If anyone eats one of these, their Wisdom is lowered to 5.
Whip of the Charitable: When cracked in an area filled with beggars or the destitute, this item forces all passersby to open their purses and give the poor ones all their cash.
Yrick’s Marvellous Tonic: This magic potion is labeled very clearly and is stored in an ursine skull. In fighters it creates an almost suicidal courage, but all others receive the sensation of a boot kicking them in the arse.