Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/11/18: Cursed Magic Items

The mimic, a Dungeons and Dragons monster that disguises itself as a treasure chest.

Sometimes a dungeon master, or an author or game writer, wants to toy with their characters. Not in a life-ending way, but just to vex them a little. The following items do just that.


Cursed Magic Items

Spoon of Canine Mucous: Any food this item touches turns into dog drool.

Iol-Del’s Unlucky Siphon: This flexible tube appears to be designed for siphoning water or other liquid out of a container, but when suction power is applied with the user’s mouth, any liquid inside is transformed into raw sewage.

Karelga’s Mocking Ink: Whatever the user writes with this will come out sarcastic in tone.

Footbath of the Toad: Appears to be a normal footbath, but when used it creates warts on the bather’s feet.

Taulan’s Obnoxious Knapsack: Whatever is put into it falls out at random moments.

Thong of Psittacine Doom: Looks like a pair of silk thong panties, but when worn, it feels like a parrot’s beak is biting deeply into your butt.

The Many-Eyed Panther Marbles of Bornbutter: Each glass marble looks like a cat’s eye which paralyzes any who look upon it with fear.

Axe of Ponderous Defense: This cursed magic weapon causes the wielder to fight half as slowly as they normally would.

Scroll of Ready Pregnancy: When the spell on this scroll is read by the owner, they will become pregnant the next time they have sex, even if they are not female.

Gnomish Teeth Balm: Looks like a tin of tooth-cleaning paste, but when used, it turns the victim’s teeth as yellow and crooked as those of a gnome.

Glyph of Cat Multiplication: When this magic glyph is written above the door of a household containing a cat, the abode will start to attract more cats, double the number each day, until the felines take over and the owner has to move out.

Tincture of Partial Snoring: Looks like a magical remedy to cure snoring, but works only every other minute the patient is asleep.

Myradria’s Fetid Sandals: These shoes appear to have a beneficial magic, but when worn they make the wearer’s feet smell very strongly of foot odor. They are not removable by normal means. Wearers suffer a -5 to Charisma checks.

Darlan’s Napkin of Barbarous Mastication: This magical napkin, when used to wipe the owner’s mouth, will cause them to chew very loudly and impolitely whatever food they are eating. The owner, however, believes they are eating normally.

Brazier of Centipede Chaos: When a fire is lit in this brazier, hundreds of centipedes come crawling out instead of flames.

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